Stuffing euros down our throats
And as the sheep within his flock bethought themselves guiltily of their trees, lights and tinsel, Cranmer told them of his own Christmas shopping expedition yesterday, in search of stocking fillers. Not that the children hang stockings any more - indeed, a pillowcase is rarely of sufficient size these days - but Cranmer buys numerous small gifts for various miscellaneous progeny, and he found himself in Boots buying chocolates.
There was a time when the foil-wrapped golden coins were sterling – crowns, half-crowns, or sovereigns – or they resembled magnificent doubloons, and encouraged fantastical games of pirates or hours of treasure seeking. But all Cranmer could find was foil-wrapped foreign currency.
And this was not just any foreign currency. No, these were euros.
If the British people have an aversion to the euro, let us stuff them down their throats - literally. The single European currency is sneaking in through the back door - disguised as a festive stocking filler - and sweet-toothed children are being brainwashed into accepting as utterly normal these gold and silver tokens instead of the national currency.
Chocolatising the euro is evidently seen as a good way of winning over people to accept this as the future currency of the United Kingdom. Cranmer did not purchase any; indeed, he moved a few bags nearer to a heating source, in the intense hope that they would melt into an amorphous lump.