Friday, December 28, 2007

Eight for 2008

Just before Christmas, Cranmer was ‘tagged’ by Mr Iain Dale, and this requires that he respond with his eight wishes for 2008. He would like to stress that these are not eight prophecies, or even eight likely occurrences, but merely eight wishes to make his 2008 somewhat more fulfilling than 2007 has been. He does not want to waste his wishes on the impossible – like world peace – so he shall restrict them to the highly improbable:

They are:

1 There shall be some cataclysm in British politics whereby a general election shall be called and David Cameron shall be victor.

2 He shall rule with a rod of iron and lead a truly reforming government in accordance with all the principles and in the best tradition of Conservative political philosophy. This includes inter alia the de-politicisation of the NHS, all schools to be made independent, the privatisation of the BBC, and the UK shall renegotiate its relationship with the EU and revert to the status which carries the assent of the British people which is that of a trading partner.

3 The Church of England shall reassert itself as the spiritual heart and the moral voice of the nation once again, and its pews shall be filled to overflowing (Cranmer realises that this may demand a change in leadership, and so his desire is for the Most Rev Michael Nazir-Ali, Bishop of Rochester, to become Archbishop of Canterbury).

4 Boris Johnson shall become Mayor of London and show himself to be a politician of gravitas and considerable intellectual ability.

5 The summer shall be long and hot, with plenty of cricket and warm beer.

6 There shall be a white Christmas, just like the ones Cranmer used to know, where the tree tops glisten, and children listen…

7 Cranmer shall receive news in the New Year’s honours list of his long-overdue peerage, if only so he can show those bishops in the House of Lords how to do it properly.

8 Jesus shall return, destroying all of his enemies, and the government shall be upon his shoulder (ably assisted by Cranmer in the Lords). He shall fulfil all of his manifsto pledges, and pursue policies roughly in accordance with (2). Numbers (5) and (6) shall become the norm (in the northern hemisphere), and the divine affirmation of (7) shall constitute Cranmer's long-awaited vindication.

It is customary to pass this ‘meme’ on to five others, and so: Ms Snuffleupagus, Dr Irene Lancaster, Crucification, Rev Peter Ould, The Croydonian.

Other communicants are welcome to share their eight for 2008.

19 Comments:

Anonymous Peter O said...

I have obliged your Grace.

28 December 2007 at 14:08  
Anonymous WannabeAnglican said...

Wonderful wish list, your Grace.

I wouldn't be shocked if your wish concerning the occupant of your chair becomes true in '08.

28 December 2007 at 14:16  
Anonymous Dr Irene Lancaster FRSA said...

1) That I will be able to see more of my husband who is Europe’s first professor of Transpersonal Psychology, based at Liverpool John Moores University , and as such can’t come to Israel as often as I would like.

2) That Islam will revert to its intellectual greatness of the 9th to 12th centuries (especially in Spain and Persia ) and start interpreting the Qu’ran metaphorically, as they used to, as well as develop a theology of diaspora, as others have learned to do.

3) That censorship and self-censorship will cease in the UK , so that Christmas is celebrated and Britain becomes proud once more of its Christian heritage, and that the country’s Muslim minority recognizes how lucky it is to live there.

4) That people bear in mind that there are only 12 million Jews in the world, 6 million of whom live in Israel , and that we aren’t a threat to anyone.

5) That people realize that 6 million Jews died in the Holocaust. That the survivors picked themselves up, brushed themselves off and determined to make a better life for themselves and their children, many of them in Israel .

6) That many of us wish the Palestinians well and hope that next time around they vote for an entity that doesn’t want to wipe us off the face of the earth.

7) That people come to visit Haifa , one of the world’s great success stories of harmonious living between creeds, religions, ethnic groups, nationalities and colours

8) That the Orthodox Jewish communities of the world make a point of opening up to their neighbours and not wait for others to fight their battles for them.



A very Happy New Year and may you continue to be the wonderful success story that you are.

28 December 2007 at 14:44  
Anonymous nedsherry said...

1. That those with ears to hear hear and those with eyes to see see.

That would be enough.

1 There shall be some cataclysm in British politics whereby a general election shall be called and David Cameron shall be victor.

I fear His Grace would be sadly disappointed in DC if this ever came to pass.

7 Cranmer shall receive news in the New Year’s honours list of his long-overdue peerage, if only so he can show those bishops in the House of Lords how to do it properly.

It would be a very good sign if this came to pass, because it would mean "Islamophobia" has been recognized as a virtue rather than a vice. An even better sign would be my appointment as Home Secretary, to oversee some long overdue middle-of-the-road reforms in immigration and race policy.

28 December 2007 at 18:10  
Anonymous Nathan Hale said...

Cranmer,

I applaud most of your wishes but fear that you have been too modest. Shouldn't we join Thoreau in wishing that mankind will become so civilized that there will be no need for government?

As for the Church of England, it will never be restored until it is cut off from public support! Only then will it be allowed to soar above the grime and muck of political correctness.

Have a wonderful New Year!

28 December 2007 at 19:37  
Blogger AethelBald, King of Wessex said...

His Graces elevation to the House of Lords is certainly long overdue, as is my own, and my only quibble with his list would be the news element of the BBC. Everything else about the Beeb can go. Having once been immersed for over a decade in wholly capitalist news, I earnestly entreat those who would do away with BBC news to reconsider. It is the best in the world bar none. OK, it's biassed, but who isn't? These days, everyone must deconstruct everything all of the time. It's the way of the world.

What's that? Murdoch, you say? You must be joking me.

28 December 2007 at 19:40  
Blogger BrianSJ said...

Ref Number 8. The classic question of "What would you do if Jesus came to Liverpool now?" is easily answered - at least until Agger gets over his injury - play him in defence.

28 December 2007 at 20:20  
Anonymous Morus said...

Well from the other side of the Tiber;

1) The replacement of Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor with either Timothy Radcliffe OP or Archbishop Michael Fitzgerald

2) The re-unification of the Orthodox churches with the Roman Catholic Church

3) A rapprochement between the Church of England and the Roman Catholic Church

4) A cataclysmic event that causes all bad liturgical music (especially if by Paul Inwood) to be eliminated from Catholic churches everywhere, and that Catholics in the UK learn to sing properly (although Ampleforth and Wales are already pulling their weight)

5) For senior Catholics (though 'senior' independent of their being 'Catholic') to stop wasting Parliamentary time campaigning on constitutional peripherals (such as the monarch being Catholic, or marrying one, about which they are wrong anyway) based upon their pedestrian understanding of the Human Rights Act and similar legislation.

6) For the philosophically incoherent language of 'rights' (and the ethically-repugnant framework of 'utility') to be replaced by moral and political language that reflects Aristotelian Virtue Ethics, as per the later work of Alasdair MacIntyre

7) For the Catholic Church to gleefully welcome all new members of the church, without suspicion - and to assist this process, therefore, for Anglicans who are merely leaving because they dislike 'liberal' decisions not to artificially feign a sudden belief in transubstantiation, the apostolic succession, and the infallibility of the Papacy, in order to cram the Roman Church yet more full of paleo-conservatives.

8) For the continued success of Your Grace's excellent blog.

Regards

MORUS

28 December 2007 at 20:45  
Anonymous Morus said...

If Your Grace, or any others, are interested in my first wish, please may I shamelessly plug the following article?

http://politicalbetting.com/index.php/archives/2007/12/11/who-will-be-the-next-archbishop-of-westminster/

It would not be appropriate to go into a lengthy discussion of the theological soundness of each of the candidates on pb.com, but the betting information and discussion may be interesting to some.

28 December 2007 at 20:52  
Blogger Snuffleupagus said...

I feel honoured Your Grace. My list is done.

29 December 2007 at 01:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your Grace,
Excellent post except for your second wish. I greatly fear that Cameron would be a grave disapointment in the event that he became PM. He is not sound on the EU, schools or the NHS in my opinion, based on replies to the odd e-mail I have had answered by his staff. Sad but I fear true.

29 December 2007 at 11:55  
Blogger dizzyfatplonka said...

I have put together my little piece of self flagellation your Grace

All the best!

29 December 2007 at 16:06  
Blogger John M Ward said...

It is a good list, and -- unlike some -- I believe that Cameron would be a good PM. Boris, to my surprise, does indeed look to be good for London, but he will have to cut down his outside activities once elected.

My only concern, Your Grace, is depriving us of our Bishop, for you see I live in Medway, which includes the magnificent Rochester Cathedral and its Bishop.

I'd rather not lose him; though I do accept that he would be a superb Archbishop, and much-needed by this nation of ours... Okay, you've talked me into it: I am prepared to make this sacrifice, in pursuance of the greater good.

29 December 2007 at 16:25  
Anonymous Atlas shrugged said...

I very much like the first seven especially no5.

However no8 bothers me much. If this did happen are we really ready for the results?

Lets face it a world without criminals or indeed any politicians at all. Without Banks or bank managers. Without lawyers and solicitors. Without media executives. Without Jesuits, Roman Catholics, Mormons and half of the rest of the dishonest or just plain evil organized religions. May sound like a radical improvement, but it would result in the population of the world being cut in half at least.

Gods don't mess about, as you should know.

When our creators or the SUN/SON of the creator returns this time, possibly some time in the next 4-5 years. Not just a few towel tops in the middle east will know it to be so. I believe the whole world will feel the heat and not just the bad parts.

29 December 2007 at 16:42  
Anonymous king kong said...

Your Grace, can we pray for a United Kingdom as a wish-list item? This devolution thing is doing my head in, as the man on the street would say.

30 December 2007 at 00:46  
Anonymous Atlas shrugged said...

Your grace

It may have escaped your notice but we are now entering a new age.

Gone is the Ram and going is the Fish. It is now the time of the Water.

Can we look forward to a new type of religious dress code or do we have to go through the same old disruptive murderous stuff all over again?

This should be the ONLY REAL theological question of our time.

The sun of the gods is coming again to a town near you, one way or another, and its not going to be very nice for very many.

My advice is to buy a good pair of long wellies it may not help much but its about all we can do about it, this or any other time in the past.

30 December 2007 at 03:27  
Anonymous Will said...

Your Grace,

I rather like your list of eight, and I think the Bishop of Rochester would be a far better Archbishop than any we have had lately. Would that your list came true in its entirety.

30 December 2007 at 05:29  
Anonymous Mary I said...

Oi! I thought I had you burned at the stake!

31 December 2007 at 14:57  
Anonymous mary tudor said...

That would be 'Yosser' Nazir-Ali who made such a ridiculous exhibition of himself drooling over the job when last the see of Canterbury was up for grabs?

Particularly hilarious was Yosser's sudden enthusiasm for incense in an attempt to impress the higher parts of the C of E.

Give us a break...

31 December 2007 at 20:12  

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