Eight for 2008
1 There shall be some cataclysm in British politics whereby a general election shall be called and David Cameron shall be victor.
2 He shall rule with a rod of iron and lead a truly reforming government in accordance with all the principles and in the best tradition of Conservative political philosophy. This includes inter alia the de-politicisation of the NHS, all schools to be made independent, the privatisation of the BBC, and the UK shall renegotiate its relationship with the EU and revert to the status which carries the assent of the British people which is that of a trading partner.
3 The Church of England shall reassert itself as the spiritual heart and the moral voice of the nation once again, and its pews shall be filled to overflowing (Cranmer realises that this may demand a change in leadership, and so his desire is for the Most Rev Michael Nazir-Ali, Bishop of Rochester, to become Archbishop of Canterbury).
4 Boris Johnson shall become Mayor of London and show himself to be a politician of gravitas and considerable intellectual ability.
5 The summer shall be long and hot, with plenty of cricket and warm beer.
6 There shall be a white Christmas, just like the ones Cranmer used to know, where the tree tops glisten, and children listen…
7 Cranmer shall receive news in the New Year’s honours list of his long-overdue peerage, if only so he can show those bishops in the House of Lords how to do it properly.
8 Jesus shall return, destroying all of his enemies, and the government shall be upon his shoulder (ably assisted by Cranmer in the Lords). He shall fulfil all of his manifsto pledges, and pursue policies roughly in accordance with (2). Numbers (5) and (6) shall become the norm (in the northern hemisphere), and the divine affirmation of (7) shall constitute Cranmer's long-awaited vindication.
It is customary to pass this ‘meme’ on to five others, and so: Ms Snuffleupagus, Dr Irene Lancaster, Crucification, Rev Peter Ould, The Croydonian.
Other communicants are welcome to share their eight for 2008.