Saturday, March 15, 2008

Iran – the world’s ‘role model and saviour’.

So says the utterly impartial, impeccably sane and devotedly democratic President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, no doubt egged on by the infallible Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei (left). Cranmer must have missed the hundreds of nations falling over themselves in the rush to emulate the perfect ‘role model’, and he must be blind, deaf, dumb or dead to have not understood that the greatest Iran is the ‘saviour’ of the world.

And Cranmer can hardly wait to bear witness to Iran’s grand soteriological scheme by which the world shall be saved – or is this salvation for Muslims only? Or, more specifically, Shi’a Muslims only? Or, even more particularly, the Shi’a Muslims who happen to put their trust in the political theology of Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei?

Now that voting has taken place, Cranmer received last night a word of prophecy that the conservatives will win. His Grace felt emboldened to share this after it was conformed that reformist opponents of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad were barred from running on the grounds of alleged ‘lack of loyalty to Islamic values’, and the turnout of his supporters was said to be ‘glorious’. Cranmer does not mind prophesying that President Ahmadinejad will triumph also in next the 2009 presidential poll.

What a marvellous surprise this must be for the Iranian people, and what a source of great joy to President Ahmadinejad. And what confirmation this must bring them all that the US is the ‘great satan’ and that other Western democracies are Iran's enemies.

There were around 1700 candidates barred from running in this election after they were screened by Iran's ‘Guardian Council’ - an unelected body of clerics and jurists that vets election candidates. This ‘Guardian Council’ has denied bias, so it is manifestly not biased.

The only manifesto pledges of the triumphant and victorious parties of which Cranmer is aware are concerned with the maintenance of ‘Islamic values’ and the drive to ‘go nuclear’ – and therein lie both national glory and eternal salvation. And we are not talking here of enriching uranium for some civilian energy programme, but the production of a bomb by which Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khameni may ‘wipe Israel off the map’, welcome the 12th Imam, and usher in the new Islamic era. And if readers and communicants wish to know more about those who fail to live up to these 'Islamic values', he commends the work of the Iran Liberty Association (but warns strongly that their videos are profoundly disturbing).

The most remarkable aspect of Mr Ahmadinejad's piety is his devotion to the Hidden Imam, the Messiah-like figure of Shi’a Islam, and the President's belief that his government must prepare the country for his return. All streams of Islam believe in a divine saviour, known as the Mahdi, who will appear at the End of Days in the company of Isa (Jesus). But President Ahmadinejad and his cabinet have pledged themselves to work for the return of the Mahdi. Indeed, his military involvement in Syria, Lebanon and Iraq is purposely designed to agitate against Israel to hasten the Last Day. Iran's dominant ‘Twelver’ sect believes the Mahdi will be Mohammed ibn Hasan, regarded as the 12th Imam and descendant of the Prophet Mohammed.

This election and Iran’s political agenda are not remotely democratic, but are driven by Shi’a theology which is guarded by clerics who ensure that all legislation complies with Islamic law. And when it comes to foreign policy, this can only mean one thing for Israel, for they hold to the divine promise made in the Al-Israa Sura (Sura 17) that they will liberate the Al-Aqsa Mosque - the first 'Kaba' to the Muslims - and will enter it as they have entered it the first time (Sura 17, ayat 7). And the prophetic foundation is the message of Mohammad that Islam will enter every house and will spread over the entire world.

They are dedicated and pledged with their lives to the ‘liberation of Palestine’ - all of Palestine.

This is Iran’s final solution.


Anonymous Sir Henry Morgan said...

Absolutely howling-at-the-moon barking mad. Bow wowwwwwwwwwwww

15 March 2008 at 11:45  
Anonymous mickey said...

Your Grace,

Perhaps if the Israeli government spent more time talking with its neighbours rather than plotting against them this terrifying situation could be defused. But that's not going to happen is it?

15 March 2008 at 11:56  
Anonymous the last toryboy said...

Oh god, not the Mahdi again.

At least in Sudan it was only machineguns, this time Iran is flirting with ending up a field of glowing glass.

15 March 2008 at 12:06  
Anonymous nedsherry said...

Iran should not be of much concern to us: there are Muslims much closer to home we need to worry about first.

Priest hurt in faith-hate attack

A priest has been attacked in the grounds of his church, in what police described as a "faith-hate" crime. Canon Michael Ainsworth, 57, was injured by two Asian youths at the church, in Tower Hamlets, east London. Canon Ainsworth said a third youth watched as he suffered cuts, bruises and black eyes in the assault at the church of St George-in-the-East. The youths also jeered at the priest for being a churchman in the attack on Wednesday night, the Met Police said. An appeal for witnesses has been made.

Still, there's always a laugh to be had amid the gloom and doom.

What can Blair's climate trip achieve?

The former British prime minister, Tony Blair, has begun a lightning tour of three Asian capitals to try to break the deadlock over climate change. It would be easy to be cynical about Mr Blair's one-man mission to save the planet. He's already supposed to be bringing peace to the Middle East, stability to Rwanda, and harmony between Islam and Christianity - as well as earning a small fortune in consultancies.

15 March 2008 at 12:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My old feller is small and curly like a piggy's tail

15 March 2008 at 16:06  
Anonymous hear o israel said...

your grace
it appears the hadith re write will not be happening in Iran then !!

It puzzles me they supposedly have some of the best clerics in Iran on the teachings of mohammad, yet they keep doleing out the same stuff. If you enquire about how the texts came about you disappear.

so mohammad who is supposeidly peaceful , and in his name denies the halocaust and any other suffering that isint suffered by the worshippers of islam .

I can see why the UN is worried , they just keep going down the wrong track and telling their people that its the only way.

the dove of peace in Iran is now the parrot of national socialism.
they will end up alienating everyone , i dont even fancy T Blairs chances with this regieme , they seem hell bent of achieving there proganda via arms for now at any rate.

15 March 2008 at 20:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They are dedicated and pledged with their lives to the ‘liberation of Palestine’ - all of Palestine.





15 March 2008 at 23:16  
Anonymous najistani said...

Iran's secret plans, which include "a strategy drawn up for the destruction of Anglo-Saxon civilization." Missile strikes To bring this about, Abbasi said, "There are 29 sensitive sites in the U.S. and in the West. We have already spied on these sites and we know how we are going to attack them." This Revolutionary Guard officer continued by saying, "Iran's missiles are now ready to strike at Western targets,


16 March 2008 at 00:09  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The USA might well be the great satan. If they are which they certainly can be. Then the words of the Iranian leadership are insane to say the least.

We all know what happened to The Axis powers, and I am sure The Iranians do also. If they think western public opinion will save them. Then more fool them for paying attention to the BBC in the first place. Cos as sure as eggs is eggs western public opinion has got nothing to do with anything.

If the powers of the western world are so mighty and cruel and Israel the devils work. Then the Iranians are toast. Very overcooked not to say potentially incinerated back to their molecular structure.

What is wrong with these people if they want to commit suicide why can they not just do it in private?

The Israeli government must have its finger hovering over the big red button already. As for a conventional attack on Israel, they have a small matter of half the US army to get past first. As well as a nation that quite simply is not going anywhere under any circumstances however nasty.

Sorry to say these chaps have me stumped. Unless President Ahmadinejad is working for the CIA, and he knows it. He is possibly the biggest death wish fool ever to seem to be in charge of a major country.

If I was the Israeli government my only problem right now would be working out precisely how many BIG ONES, sorting out Iran is going to take. One will possibly be enough but who knows? These people seem not to know when its time to shut up EVER.

When the Lion has not bitten off your head after the 20th time you pulled hard on its tail. It is time to stop pulling it and count you luck so far.

Iran is on the list for the next big corporate takeover in the middle east. Surly they know this. If I was them I would be brushing up on my Star Spangled Banner, or kissing my own sweet ass good-by.

It seems that December 2012 is going to have a bigger fireworks party then we have ever seen before. A good time to be in New Zealand watching the Cricket, if ever there was one.

16 March 2008 at 02:36  

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