Friday, October 03, 2008

Cabinet re-shuffle – the feminising of British politics

Cranmer will leave it to the experts to comment on developments such as the bizarre return of Peter Mandelson to front-line British politics. He appears to possess more lives than Humphrey the cat. His Grace shall, however, say that he is saddened, though by no means surprised, that two of the Cabinet’s three Roman Catholics – Ruth Kelly and Des Browne - have felt unable to continue as members of the most profoundly anti-Christian government of modern times. Paul Murphy is now a very lonely figure indeed. It is no coincidence that these two leading Roman Catholics have left the Government before the return of the odious Fertilisation and Embryology Bill.

But the proposed abolition of the very meaty roles of Secretary of State for Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland wil lead to the formation of the rather androgynous ‘Ministry of the Nations’. This long-expected development has been preceded by the announcement of a new ‘Department of Energy and Climate Change’, neutering the virility of potency with the gynogenesis of Mother Earth. And then there is the reduction of Rural Affairs to the Delia Department of Food (and Agriculture) - already dubbed the Department of Sweet F.A. These developments are consistent with the eradication of patriarchy and the feminisation of the language of political discourse which have been a hallmark of New Labour.

The moment the Department of Education became the Department of Cushions and Soft Furnishings Children, Schools and Families, there was a move to incorporate breast-feeding and nappy-changing into the everyday concerns of Whitehall. It soon became apparent that there was an agenda towards all that was touchy-feely. And now we have a Secretary of State for Global Warming, it is apparent that touchy-feely is being enhanced by all that is soft, fluffy and pink – or green. And Cranmer wonders if this is an inevitable consequence of the positive discrimination which is ensuring more women and homosexuals in Parliament - and thus an increase in Parliament's oestrogen levels and the multiplying of those who are allegedly ‘in touch with their feminine side’ - at the manifest expense of testosterone and the macho buck, stag, cock and bull mentality which has so typified the workings of Parliament and the functioning of government.

But where will this end?

Will the Home Secretary become the Secretary of State for Domestic and Social Affairs?

Will the Department of Health become the Department of Illnesses, Ailments, Obesity and Clinical Depression?

Why not change the Department of Justice to the Department for Healing and Restoration?

The Department for Defence to the Department for Conflict Resolution?

Or the Department of the Environment to the Department of Rivers, Fields, Flowers and Trees?

Cranmer shall leave it to his communicants to come up with further suggestions...


Blogger El Fouche said...

Assemble these words in to a well known sentence:

titanic, on, deckchairs, the, re-arranging

3 October 2008 at 13:26  
Blogger The Half-Blood Welshman said...

"Will the Home Secretary become the Secretary of State for Domestic and Social Affairs?"

I thought we already had that one with David Blunkett, Your Grace?

3 October 2008 at 13:46  
Blogger The Black Fingernail said...

Chancellor of the Exchequer -

Keeper of the Silk Purse
Credit Controller
Inflation regulator

3 October 2008 at 14:43  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is, I am informed, a bill for the next Queen's speech re-designating the Church of England as the new 'Department for Holistic Spirituality' and a further Green paper to be published on recognition of the Brigade of Guards as the 'London Pink Experience'...but rumour has it that the latter was suggested by a Rifleman.

3 October 2008 at 14:49  
Anonymous anonymous2 said...

Churchill started this rot, when the War Office became the Ministry of Defence. It's been one, long, slippery slope ever since.

3 October 2008 at 15:02  
Anonymous suldanorn said...

The only people who really want more female politicians are female politicians. I wouldn't care if there weren't even any female MPs. And real women don't want feminised men in positions of power, either. My dream ticket would be Jeremy Clarkson as PM, Mike Jackson as Defence Secretary, Gene Hunt (I know he's made up, but still) as Met Commissioner and Boris as Foreign Secretary.

As for the difficulties facing Catholic cabinet ministers: I don't see how any Christian of any denomination can be really comfortable in political office. This country has become so unchristianised that it doesn't even reach the spiritual level of paganism. And the barbarians are too far inside the gates now for any defence to be possible. So all anyone can do, unless they are very brave, is to refuse to be a part of the New Order.

3 October 2008 at 15:31  
Anonymous The Mercurial Legate said...

Would that your Grace had kept that notion of changing the Ministry of Defence to the Department of Conflict Resolution "in camera". If the mythical Derek Draper were ever to read this blog there is a danger that it actually might come to pass!

3 October 2008 at 17:30  
Blogger Curly said...

Government of the living dead, has Brown run out of imagination?

3 October 2008 at 18:46  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gordon is digging deep,"well he did it for tony,perhaps he can do it for me"!,
Enter the Prince ,Peter the Magnificent,Mandelson.

3 October 2008 at 18:50  
Blogger The Gentleman Loser said...

As an Old Labour type (I prefer the term 'Vintage Labour)posting on a Conservative blog I view Mandelson's politics with the same suspicion as many others here but loans apart he is a very capable figure with a proven track record at wooing Conservative voters. Anyone who can persuade the DUP et al to disband the RUC should not be quickly written off.

PS Your Grace, is there any chance of being considered a reciprocal link on your esteemed blog?

3 October 2008 at 21:09  
Blogger McKenzie said...

... --- ...

3 October 2008 at 21:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re the feminising of politics,
There is a woman in politics ,her name is Jezebel, she is a spirit,She emasculates men, takes their authority away from them!Her object?, control.
The face of harriet harman in your blog says it all!

3 October 2008 at 22:06  
Blogger McKenzie said...

I always tried to keep the faith
And held my head up high

I stood against those tides of fear
And held onto my pride

Never lost the will to live
And this can't be denied
In the calm before the storm.

Calm Before The Storm
Judas Priest

3 October 2008 at 22:21  
Blogger Cranmer said...

Mr Gentleman Loser,

His Grace shall sort when he is next housekeeping.

3 October 2008 at 22:31  
Blogger Homophobic Horse said...

It's nothing a bit of fox hunting wont sort out.

4 October 2008 at 00:08  
Blogger Johnny Norfolk said...

Great Post

First I laughed, but then you realise its all true so true.

Just what have labour done to us. I think Britain is weaker now than at any time since the war. How Labour still has ANY support is beyond belief.

4 October 2008 at 08:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is only one way to halt such feminisation and that is surely to repeat endlessly the splendid invective of P.J. 0'Rourke that no woman ever fantasised about being tied to a bed and ravaged by a liberal!

4 October 2008 at 09:10  
Blogger Not a sheep said...

I too would appreciate a reciprocal link, when you have the time and/or inclination.

4 October 2008 at 11:13  
Blogger Bishop Brennan said...

The Department of Timewasting and Interfering should be re-named the Department for Corporate Welfare?

Ditto the Export Credits Guarantee Dept.

Ditto the Treasury...

The Foreign Office = the Department for Subordinating UK Interests to those of France and Germany...

DFID = the Department for Frittering Away Taxpayers' Money on Hopeless Causes...

Ad infinitum....


4 October 2008 at 11:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All this is straight out if George Orwells 1984,
Ministry of truth,
Ministry of plenty,
Ministry of Peace,

4 October 2008 at 12:05  
Blogger Didactophobe said...

Regarding Catholic Cabinet ministers, is Jim Murphy, the new Secretary of State for Scotland, not a Roman Catholic?

Interesting indeed, that the two Murphys, as the only two Roman Catholics in Cabinet, are Secretaries of State in Scotland and Wales, where they have only limited influence due to devolution and have no influence at all in England or in the United Kingdom as a whole.

5 October 2008 at 08:31  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ruth Kelly
A devout Roman Catholic, she confirms for the first time that she is a member of Opus Dei, the sect that was popularised in the book The Da Vinci Code. “I am a member of Opus Dei, it's just part of my faith.
Some followers of Opus Dei use “self-mortification” - including flagellation or wearing a spiked garter - to remind themselves of the suffering of Christ.
This must be less painful than working alongside Gordo.!

8 October 2008 at 08:22  

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