President Barroso: the 'people who matter' in Britain are reconsidering the euro
Or at least it is by ‘the people who matter’.
President Barroso said, "I don't mean this will happen tomorrow, I know that the majority are still opposed, but there is a period of consideration underway and the people who matter in Britain are currently thinking about it."
But who are these people who matter?
Alas, it is a secret, and President Barroso is ‘not going to break the confidentiality of certain conversations’.
We do not matter, and therefore we are not permitted to know.
But we know that those who matter are politicians, for President Barroso says: ‘...some British politicians have already told me...’. And we who do not matter at least possess the intelligence to work out that those who do matter must be senior politicians, for President Barroso would not waste his time talking to lowly backbenchers, for they also do not matter, though they probably do not matter as little as we who do not matter at all, for we who do not matter at all cannot be politicians, for all politicians are persuaded of themselves that they most certainly do matter, even if the matter of the extent to which they matter is a matter of some conjecture.
But Cranmer, who also does not matter, has deduced that those who matter cannot be economists, for President Barroso reports that those who matter said to him, in confidence: ‘If we had the euro, we would have been better off’.
What is the matter with him that he is content to consort with the crackpots and dally with the deluded? They must, of course, be the crackpots and the deluded who matter, but it is a serious matter, not to say a matter of grave concern, that their grey matter is out of kilter with the reading matter provided by several of the most eminent economists who produce expert economic analyses as a matter of course which really does matter.
Yet President Barroso, who doubtless thinks he matters more than most, and certainly more than we who matter not at all, has said that those who matter told him of their plan ‘in confidence’.
Setting aside the breach of confidence - which matters to Cranmer because matters of confidence ought to be kept confidential and not treated matter-of-factly (though it must be observed that President Barroso has not disclosed the names of those who matter who are of the opinion that the nation’s material wealth would be greater if we had, as a matter of fact, been in the euro) – it is not a proven matter that joining the euro would be the means of beating the effects of the global economic crisis, which matters to us all, not least because it is global, which is itself an important matter, but also, as a matter of fact, because it affects people’s savings, people’s pension’s, people’s homes, people’s cost of living, people’s health, people’s wellbeing, and, for that matter, people’s sense of how much they matter to the politicians, who, as a matter of record, manifestly believe they matter because, as a matter of law, they are a constitutional imperative.
Except the Member for Ashford, who presently appears to matter less than all those who matter, or who think they matter.
But no matter.
The people who are struggling with the effects of the ‘credit crunch’ and the recession, who are occasionally consulted on matters European - not least in referenda in Denmark, Ireland, France or the Netherlands - are the people who do not matter.
But those who think they matter enough to know those who matter do not matter at all either to those who matter or to those who do not matter.
Moreover, those who think they matter are rarely those who do, and of all the people in the world who do matter, none is to be found in the European Commission, and even fewer are to be found in the British Government, for Parliament itself has ceased to matter.
However, the Prime Minister’s spokesman has been swift to stamp on the idea that the Government's position on the euro has been modified. "Our position has not changed. We have no plans to join the euro," Mr Brown's spokesman said.
But he does not matter.
Even if her thinks he does.