Friday, March 06, 2009

Tony Blair does God – again.

As he warns that Christians must speak out in an 'aggressively secularist' age, it transpires that he did actually do God on the path to No10. According to The Spectator:

'He had a separate religious group that met weekly during the campaign, the’97 campaign, which he met with weekly. He said that he would talk to them and make sure, kinda check he wasn’t going too far in his politics from his religious faith. But none of those people were introduced into the campaign. But that was a separate domain. After 9/11, he was in some ways liberated to bring together faith and his politics.

And now he follows the theme of Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor in his assertion that Christianity is seen as a ‘personal eccentricity’ rather than ‘an important influence on the country’.

Alastair Campbell’s assertion that No10 did not ‘do God’ has become one of the defining declarations of the New Labour era. Tony Blair later admitted that he feared he would be labelled a ‘nutter’ if he spoke publicly about his religious convictions.

But since leaving office, he has done no end of God. He converted to Roman Catholicism and set up the Tony Blair Faith Foundation to ‘promote respect and understanding about the world's major religions’.

In an interview with the Church of England Newspaper , Mr Blair said: "Sometimes I think we as Christians are more sensitive than we should be although I say that as someone who when I was in office, although I was perfectly open about my Christianity, nonetheless kept it within certain boundaries that were restricted in terms of what I said publicly. The position of prime minister puts you in a unique category.”

Well, try telling that to God: “Sorry, Lord. I’m not a sheep or a goat. I’m in a unique category.”

“O, really?” said God. “What category is that?”

“I’m a prime minister,” said Mr Blair.

“Ah, a special category, but not quite unique. There have been quite a few of you. And some of them, you know, did me,” said God.

“Did you?” queried Mr Blair.

“God,” said God.

Mr Blair looked puzzled, and God became a little impatient with the former prime minister's slow understanding. “Some of them did what Alastair Campbell said you didn’t do,” replied God. “They did me.”

“But if I’d done you while I was in office, people might have thought I was a nutter,” protested Mr Blair.

“Indeed they might,” said God. “But look what my servant the Archbishop of Canterbury endures. And consider also the perpetual scorn endured by my servant the Cardinal Archbishop of Westminster - even from their professing co-religionists.”

“But they are a bit nutty,” Mr Blair insisted.

“And you think that by becoming a Roman Catholic and establishing a faith foundation, you are no longer perceived as a nutter?” challenged God. “Is doing the Pope out of office somehow more acceptable than doing me whilst in office?”

"But in British society there is a risk that people see faith as a personal eccentricity," said a defensive Mr Blair. "I could not be a nutter while in office, but now it doesn’t matter. Now I believe people should be proud of their Christianity and able to express it as they wish. The real test of a religion is whether in an age of aggressive secularism it has the confidence to go out and make its case by persuasion."

“And you never had the confidence to make that case while you were prime minister?” asked God.

Mr Blair reminded God: “I was in a unique category.”

“Ah, yes. You were in a unique category,” God recalled. “The same office as that occupied by William Gladstone and Winston Churchill."

God paused for a moment, and added: "They did me, you know.”

Mr Blair explained: “While I was prime minister, I believed equality and diversity were more important than religion. There were so many competing groups - the gays, the Muslims, Ruth Kelly. You have got to try to work your way through these issues."

“Really?” lamented God. “What then has been the fate of the adoption agencies? Your policies have closed them. Your policies have created a world in which faith schools are discriminated against, heterosexuals are silenced, fatherhood demeaned, marriage sidelined, prayer risks you losing your job, and the developing foetus in the womb in as much danger as ever it was.

“You used your ‘unique category’ to pursue a fundamentally anti-Christian agenda. Now, when Christians dare to be convicted, they are portrayed as bigots. When they articulate a view with which others may disagree, they are dogmatic. When they fall short of perfection, they are pilloried and cast as hypocrites. When they defend the unborn, they are unenlightened. When they oppose animal-human embryos, they are anti-science. When they express concern over the fatherless, they are homophobic. When they speak up for the poor, they are wishy-washy liberals. When they defend faith-based education, they are intolerant. When they seek to uphold marriage, they are ‘right wing’ reactionaries.”

Mr Blair was silent.

God continued: "These are the fruits of your policies, Mr Blair. Everywhere you look today, Christians are marginalised and the faith is something few can discuss openly. And your defence is that of being unique?”

Mr Blair was about to speak, but God raised his hand. “Depart from me,” he said, sorrowfully.

And Mr Blair departed the presence of God.

And returned to his desk to continue working on his faith foundation.


Blogger The Heresiarch said...

I don't think Churchill ever did God, particularly. His invocations of the Almighty were strictly rhetorical. Did he not once say that his was less a pillar of the church than a flying buttress, supporting it from the outside?

6 March 2009 at 10:50  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny kind of Christian who surrounds himself with the kind of rottweilers that were the Blair retinue. We could all walk around acting smug, grinning at all and sundry and being mild-mannered charm personified if we had his henchmen in tow, couldn't we?

6 March 2009 at 10:52  
Blogger Gnostic said...

Excellent piece, Your Grace. Sums up Blair's highly questionable Damascene conversion wonderfully.

6 March 2009 at 10:56  
Blogger Dark_Heretic said...

Our parent of undefined gender/orientation.

Unpronounceable be thy name,

This Kingdom’s done

And depression has come,

Now as it was in the Thirties,

Give us this day some soup and bread

And forgive us our speed camera fines,

As we give unto them who take taxes from us.

Lead us not into a European-nation

And deliver us from Putin,

For we are all buggered, we’ve no power or money.

For-ever, under New Labour


6 March 2009 at 10:58  
Blogger Young Mr. Brown said...

As Gnostic says, you have summed it up very well indeed.

But I still cannot, for the life of me, understand Tony Blair's form of Christianity.

I am just baffled by the man.

6 March 2009 at 11:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tony Blair doesn't believe in anything, certainly not the God of the Bible. He only believes in himself and in pursuing his own agenda sets himself up as a god - a type of Anti Christ. He is a very dangerous,deceptive & deluded individual.

6 March 2009 at 12:11  
Anonymous oiznop said...

Brilliant, entertaining as ever.

Blair is difficult to pigeonhole, he's a multi-faith spiritualist - a kind of Buddhist - what works for you is fine, as long as it's love and peace orientated.

6 March 2009 at 12:16  
Blogger Botogol said...

very good :-)

6 March 2009 at 13:03  
Anonymous Evangelical said...

Apparently T B `s god is to be kept within certain boundaries and got out when it suits!.
I think you catholics should be seriously worried!.

6 March 2009 at 13:18  
Blogger ultramontane grumpy old catholic said...

Well said Your Grace. Cheered me up no end, after the fulminating on the 'Flash G gives Ted K a K' headline earlier.

6 March 2009 at 13:35  
Blogger Microcosm said...

Oh your Grace, what a talent.

Your God and Blair Conversations should get a weekly spot on the Radio.

If only Kenneth Williams was still here to do Blairs voice.

Can you just picture Blair saying to God "er your havin a larf" :D

6 March 2009 at 13:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is the problem here? Mr Blair, his wife, and no doubt many of their dinner guests are New Age Liberal Roman Catholics. It is a well known genre, their house mag is the Tablet and they constitute no threat to the secularised community.

6 March 2009 at 13:59  
Blogger Microcosm said...

Grandiose delusional psycopaths who have raped and pillaged every nation on earth are another well known genre.

No doubt the Lynndisfarne massacre had dinner guests.

Rape and pillage works wonders for the appetite, so they say.

I recommend the liver with a nice Chianti slslslrup!

6 March 2009 at 15:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your Grace has spoken true.

Mr Blair is strikingly like President Obama in this respect. He is angling to become President of Europe, espousing a sincere Blairite religion of faux-Catholicism in which he claims prophetic insight. It has never been enough for politicians of Blair's stamp (or Obama's) to enjoy huge temporal powers. He wants to be a Third Way Pope as well.

Will Your Grace now do an expose of Mr Brown and 'my values'? What 'values' are these and whence do they come? Is Mr Brown an atheist? He never invokes God (mercifully).

6 March 2009 at 17:02  
Anonymous 1.2 Million Dead Iraqi's said...

Blair's a Christian ? oh, that's all right then, we forgive him.

6 March 2009 at 18:15  
Blogger ZZMike said...

Good show! Brilliantly writ.

We sometimes talk of death-bed conversions - can a scoundrel finally realize - just moments before it's Too Late - that it's better to be on God's side rather than the Other - or than outside it all - and be granted a divine pardon?

(But surely, that's between God and Sinner.)

Looks like Mr Blair has had a "political death-bed" conversion.

Perhaps, like Paul, he can switch from persecutor to defender.

Your charges ("... when Christians dare to be convicted, they are portrayed as bigots. When they ...") apply equally as well this side of the Pond. That there is such a perfect match might imply - if one were a conspiracy theorist - that there's a Vast Some Kind of Conspiracy going on.

6 March 2009 at 19:37  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From David Lonsdale

Your Grace,
May I draw your attention to Margaret Thatcher's speech to the Church of Scotland. Here was a lady who knew her Saviour. See Brits at their Best

6 March 2009 at 20:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, Blair is a christian aha! ha! ha! ha! Like hell PUN INTENDED!

"He's long on exhortation but short on sincerity. We see a nasty side to him when he doesn't get his own way.
Instead of patiently and with good humour tackling their arguments one by one - as a decent leader with genuine humility would do - the Prime Minister insults those who don't want a war with Iraq by suggesting Saturday's marchers were dupes who'll have the blood of innocent Iraqis on their hands.
That's a disgraceful thing for a premier to do. It's arrogant, highhanded and plain nasty. He forgets he's our servant, and we're not his."


6 March 2009 at 23:39  
Blogger Wrinkled Weasel said...

I cannot think of one significant thing that Blair did whilst in office, that demonstrated his Christian faith.

On the contrary, we seem to have entered a time of oppression and public censure, mediated by local authorities and publicly funded pressure groups like Stonewall.

Others have mentioned his henchmen. All self serving thugs. He lied about Iraq and then said that he did not pray with George Bush!

Now correct me if I am wrong, but as a Christian, if I was about to embark on a War, with the potential of mass death and destruction, with a President who also claimed to be a Christian, I would be on my knees beseeching The Lord Almighty for wisdom.

8 March 2009 at 01:08  
Anonymous len said...

Mr Blairs religion, like so many today doesn`t really need Jesus.
Jesus is an embarassment to many religions, after all if you are a good person do you really need Him?
It was the downright sinners who knew they needed a savior, prostitutes, tax collectors, roman centurions etc.What did these people have in common?They didn`t profess to be' good' like the pharisees and they didn`t practice legalism.
The old covenant is good but man cannot keep it (works-guilt-condemnation-works etc)
The new covenant, Grace from God, (relying solely on the finished work of Jesus Christ)

The law condemns the best of us, but Grace saves the worst of us!

8 March 2009 at 17:04  

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