Friday, May 01, 2009

Cranmer’s Pulpit (and trivial matters of statistics)


Cranmer is delighted to announce that April was another stonking month for his august blog of intelligent and erudite comment upon matters religio-political. There were some 57,135 unique visitors (30,444 ‘absolute unique’) from 167 countries who made 61,891 visits and 74,907 page views. The ‘unique visitors’ are 120 per cent up on April 2008.

Cranmer’s ‘top landing page’ this month has been ‘Explicit sex videos for children’, with 6,269 views. Indeed, that page has attracted quite a bit of undesirable (not to say unsavoury) attention, and His Grace hopes that their undoubted disappointment as they discover this blog (the average viewing time is just 3 seconds) might lead them to carnal salvation. For some reason, a Google search on ‘Explicit sex videos’ places Cranmer at number three on the first page of 99,700,000 possible websites. This is an utterly astonishing achievement, and quite inexplicable.

Cranmer is concerned to note that 5,024 people have visited between 101-200 times over the past 30 days. And he remains profoundly concerned to learn that a further 5,725 people have visited 201+ times, which is in excess of 7 times a day.

In celebration of this month, and in perpetual commemoration of the spiritual liberation afforded by his own pulpit experience with the Provost of Eton, Dr Henry Cole, His Grace is pleased to offer this ‘Cranmer’s Pulpit’ to his communicants for the raising of whatever religio-political or politico-religious concerns they do so wish (intelligently and eruditely, of course).

His Grace shall post again later. He is presently working hard on the sermon he imagines that the Reverend John Brown might today preach to his son, the Prime Minister. He would not be pleased.

13 Comments:

Anonymous oiznop said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1 May 2009 at 10:11  
OpenID curly15 said...

I doubt whether the Revd. Brown would have allowed his son to make videos which are plainly unsuitable for children to watch.

Do you think the director deliberately made him act like an unthinking goon, or did it all come naturally?

1 May 2009 at 10:14  
Blogger The Heresiarch said...

Whenever I write (with only slightly less circumspection than your Grace) about matters carnal and lascivious, I generally find that a considerable proportion of the extra traffic comes from countries in the Middle East. Have you experienced anything similar?

1 May 2009 at 10:29  
Blogger Demetrius said...

For those of us keeping up with the wider perspective of the Tax Justice Network, recent posts on their house blog suggests all is not well in some tax havens. It may not be long before their governments are asking for bail outs. Given who has property in them, and where their money has come from, I wonder how the government proposes to deal with the issues arising?

1 May 2009 at 10:31  
Blogger Cranmer said...

Mr Heresiarch,

To be honest, His Grace has not bothered to research the origins of his new 6,000 visitors who come in search of 'explicit sex videos'. He is genuinely puzzled that one mere post on a tangential theme has trumped almost 100 million peddlers of paedophilia who would doubtless kill for such a page ranking.

Google works in mysterious ways.

1 May 2009 at 10:35  
Blogger McKenzie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1 May 2009 at 10:51  
Blogger McKenzie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1 May 2009 at 10:54  
Anonymous Nelson said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1 May 2009 at 11:01  
Blogger McKenzie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1 May 2009 at 11:17  
Blogger McKenzie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1 May 2009 at 12:18  
Blogger Cranmer said...

Could whoever is delting the anonymous or unlogged-in postings please desist (Mr McKenzie?).

Blogger appears to have a bug (or is it purposeful?)

His Grace permits unregistered users and anonymice, and the arbitrary deletion of their contributions ruins the flow and sense of conversation. Whoever deleted Mr Oiznop's first comment is an irresponsible vandal.

1 May 2009 at 12:38  
Blogger Microcosm said...

Fantastic news your Grace, I feel a greater admiration for the Liberty and Constitutional movements than I do for any particular political party across the whole spectrum at the moment.

I respect Nationalist fervour, if only it could be tempered somewhat by Libertarian level headedness.

Keep up the good work, I am sure a level headed freedom loving alliance will win the day. If the World wants muticulturalism, then there could be no finer example than our Constitutional Commonwealth. Its time Britain stoped trying to do things the Globalists way and made a stand for the British way on the World Stage and its time the Commonwealth stood up with us for the rights of their freedom loving multicultural folk.

1 May 2009 at 13:09  
Blogger McKenzie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1 May 2009 at 14:13  

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