Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Derek Draper ‘is now a practising Christian’

That is according to The Guardian, which insists that Mr Draper is ‘excitable, not evil’. And so, having found salvation, he excitedly trumpets his sheer incredulity that anyone could possibly have believed that he ever for one moment contemplated ‘doing anything with those emails’. He also excitedly enlightens us: “There is a difference between contemplating something and actually doing it – and I didn't do it."

And so he has no need to repent.

The Guardian asked him ‘whether God went Awol when he was online’. His response was: "God doesn't disappear ... my connection to God disappeared the moment I received an email contemplating smearing people and I didn't say no."

So he does have need to repent.

Far be it from Cranmer to judge, but there is something... well, a little convenient about this conversion: it appears to be not so much an ineffable and transcendent experience along the road to Damascus as a distinctly effable and elementary awareness in the cul-de-sac of Derek Draper’s mind.

There is more than a whiff of sulphur surrounding the likes of Peter Mandelson, Damian McBride and Derek Draper. None is of sufficient intellectual stature to be in league with Satan (well, perhaps Lord Mandelson may be), but all would be cognizant of the prince of the power of the air who controls much of the media. One is left wondering about the nature of this god which Mr Draper has found. Is it the one which Tony Blair also now professes; one who accommodatingly blots out sin while conveniently embracing Mammon and bending his orthodoxy to conform to the doctrine of New Labour?

Scripture warns us that wolves masquerade as sheep. It instructs us that we may know believers by their fruits (Mt 7:16), for grapes are not harvested from thorns any more than figs are from thistles.

So perhaps Mr Draper might pay His Grace a visit, and tell his readers and communicants:

1) Are you a real psychotherapist?

2) Did you in any way falsify or misrepresent your qualifications?

3) If you did not intend ever to do anything with ‘those emails’, why did you set up ‘Red Rag’?

4) Why would ‘those emails’ fall into your inbox out of the blue?

5) Who is ‘Ollie Cromwell’, the name to which the domain ‘Red Rag’ is registered, apparently in breach of Nominet’s terms and conditions?

A few truthful answers, please, Mr Draper. For that is the Christian way.

Bless you.

And Cranmer is sincerely delighted that you have found God. At least now you can be certain that someone listens to you.


Blogger ZZMike said...

"Draper initially praised the ideas as "absolutely, totally brilliant". But tonight he conceded ...."

It's amazing how often a "brilliant idea" turns to dust when you find out that everyone else is "not amused".

"Draper, who was notorious in the 90s as a New Labour spin doctor,..."

What better credentials does one need these days to profess being a psychotherapist?

27 May 2009 at 16:23  
Blogger Flumsy Flobadoms said...

It is rather intriguing that those that leave Labour turn to God. It must be the Blair effect.

27 May 2009 at 16:59  
Anonymous Super Blue said...

Last time I saw this soi-disant "qualified" psychotherapist, before he and McBride-of-Frankenstein were exposed, he was on BBC2's Daily Politics, debating with Guido whilst disguised as a tramp.

27 May 2009 at 17:04  
Blogger Gnostic said...

There's a spelling error on that ring. Someone included an F by mistake...

27 May 2009 at 17:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have always been minded to believe that "ollie cromwell" was picked as a injoke.draper was at a meeting around this time at chequers (with brown)a family seat of the cromwells and it probaly has the best collection of his artefacts.

27 May 2009 at 17:09  
Blogger someday said...

"the cul-de-sac of Derek Draper’s mind"


27 May 2009 at 17:33  
Anonymous DB said...

I bet Draper runs the London Marathon next year; it's what people like him do after they've screwed up in public. The following year you won't be able to run more than twenty yards without banging into a former MP.

27 May 2009 at 17:48  
Anonymous Voyager said...

Draper is a void. He has no background, no education, no self-worth beyond a need to engage in deceit and trickery for some cause.

He is too shallow to be a Christian - a Faith which is expressed in the manner of the Believer - the emotinal find Sentimental Succour and the Intellectual find Philosophical Satisfaction - but Draper has neither attribute.

The man has reached the end of the road as the New Labour Neo-Marxist construct has imploded

27 May 2009 at 18:26  
Anonymous not a machine said...

The lords mercy is not as easy as words Jonathan Aitken knows well how it affects you when you turn from sin and the many years it takes .

i wonder if mr draper is poorly sighted and walked through the door "practising charletens" .

be not double minded will be harder from him than he imagines and the lord may yet cut him deeper than he is realising at the moment

27 May 2009 at 19:12  
Anonymous M said...

Finding God can be a misty, long, difficult and strange road. You see the answer and run and pick it up, turn the corner and a spade is slammed into your face, then 5 mins later you thank the Lord for your new broken nose and all the blessings it has given you. Then you go home and cry all night, only to wake up in the morning as if nothing what so ever has changed; and then you see the answer before you ....

27 May 2009 at 19:25  
Anonymous Swine Mote Disaster Royal said...

I saw the real deal last night YG. That's not good, its happens.

27 May 2009 at 19:32  
OpenID jobtwenteewun1to3 said...

Draper says “There is a difference between contemplating something and actually doing it – and I didn't do it."

Jesus said “"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

A different context certainly, but the point remains. According to Jesus, with respect to sinfulness there is no difference between contemplating an action and completing it.

Now who am I to believe? Derek Draper or the Lord of Life???

27 May 2009 at 20:17  
Blogger killemallletgodsortemout said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

27 May 2009 at 20:23  
Anonymous God said...

Look. I love everyone - I am Love, after all.

There is always great joy in heaven when a sinner repents; sometimes this happens immediately prior to a judicial execution, usually on a deathbed.

However, we are talking about the spawn of the devil in Draper's case, so no amount of repentance will do.

Sorry and all that, but there always has to be an exception.

The shit.

27 May 2009 at 20:26  
Blogger Frugal Dougal said...

In the real world, being a Christian, or a member of any other faith, does not give one immunity to sin - qv Judas.

27 May 2009 at 20:57  
Anonymous Derek Neighbors said...

Perhaps he should be stoned to death?

27 May 2009 at 22:06  
Anonymous Grumpy Old Man. said...

As I remember, a Christian is someone who accepts the creed that Jesus is the son of God who died for our sins and was resurrected. It doesn't make one any better or worse to profess as a Christian.
On the subject of repentance, are not the 3 requirements confession, restitution, and a solemn promise to abstain from recommiting the sin?
Is there any sign that born again Draper is prepared to cleanse his soul in this way?

27 May 2009 at 23:31  
Anonymous philip walling said...

A Christian is one who believes that Christ is God and man and Spirit all at the same time, and that God because of His love for us, became man and died on the Cross to redeem us and otherwise we are unable to save ourselves.
Draper is the beneficiary of this supreme act of love just as any of us is and he may or may not accept the truths set forth in the Creed, but that is entirely a matter for him. And even if he does, so what? As Grumpy Old Man says, it has no effect on his nature to profess himself a Christian.

27 May 2009 at 23:59  
Blogger Savonarola said...

When we have done wrong and feel abandoned, many will 'find' God who will be put on the backburner once our affairs and in the ascendant again.

Draper's self loathing demanded some standing back from self. In a similar manner Campbell, the real toxic evil in the body politic, so loathed himself that he turned to 'good works' in an attempt to distance himself from his previous persona.

Neither are repentant. Merely sorry to have been found out. Both are unhappy and will remain so.

28 May 2009 at 07:04  
Blogger dmk said...

old news, your Grace

28 May 2009 at 08:09  
Anonymous Major Plonquer said...

Dolly Draper has found God.

I for one pray that soon God will find Dolly Draper.

We wouldn't want him to go to Hell now, would we?

28 May 2009 at 08:27  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi guys, God here.

Just thought I'd drop you an email to let you know that I exist.

Sometimes I get confused between Dolly Draper and Dickie Dawkins - all devil worshippers - unlike Desmond Dekker (the Israelites), of course.

28 May 2009 at 08:34  
Blogger Neuroskeptic said...

If Derek Draper did not exist, it would be necessary to throw a party.

28 May 2009 at 09:07  
Blogger Liz said...

A conversation in our kitchen last night went like this:

Me: "Did you hear that Derek Draper has become a Christian?"
Incredulous husband: "Really? What kind?"
Me: "A very, very bad one."

28 May 2009 at 11:05  
Blogger Dave said...

"By their fruits shall you know them."

I suspect it's a flash in the pan.
God may forgive him but the people won't. Nor should they.
Criminals who convert still do their time. Ask Aitken.

28 May 2009 at 12:38  
Blogger dmk said...

I certainly hope Jesus is more forgiving than some of his followers.

28 May 2009 at 13:29  
Blogger BrianSJ said...

He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

30 May 2009 at 11:35  
Anonymous christian magazine said...

I certainly hope Jesus is more forgiving than some of his followers.

--- i agree... more of His followers are more judgemental tham Him...

4 June 2009 at 03:44  

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