Wednesday, June 10, 2009

William Hague on Archbishop Mandelson



It appears that Cranmer has religio-political competition in the form of Archbishop Mandelson.

God forbid.

But this speech by William Hague is a flourish of oratorical genius:

“The unelected Prime Minister has managed to produce the most powerful unelected deputy since Henry VIII appointed Cardinal Wolsey, except Cardinal Wolsey was more sensitive in handling his colleagues that the noble Lord Mandelson...

“The Prime Minister, who lectures us all on democratic renewal, is appointing peers to positions of power on a scale unknown for decades. There are now more peers attending the Cabinet than at any time since the days of Harold Macmillan...

“And the Lord Mandelson, denied the opportunity to become the Foreign Secretary... has gone around instead collecting titles and even whole government departments to add to his name, now adding up to The Right Honourable the Baron Mandelson of Foy in the County of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the County of Durham, First Secretary of State and Lord President of the Privy Council and Secretary of State for Business and Secretary of State for Innovation and Skills. It would be no surprise to wake up in the morning and finding he had become an archbishop...”

Archbishop Mandelson.

Genius.

33 Comments:

Anonymous not a machine said...

you never know your grace the way the CofE is going he would be most welcome even as an unrepentant, perhaps he is already running it , but erm behind the scenes or possibly screens at the high alter.

10 June 2009 at 20:43  
Anonymous McKenzie said...

All things are possible YG. Think about this:

Most of us can grasp the concept of time running backwards, excepting it does not please God for it to happen. But if it was thus, then we we grow younger instead of older and eventually return to hospital to be unborn as it were, and reinserted into the womb where we would un-develop from the physical world.

However, how many of us can grasp the idea of un-dieing? If time could run backwards, which there is no real argument against, then to un-die would mean that death cannot possibly be the end.

As we have seen of recent times, some people have managed to un-die even while time runs in its forward direction, therefore, anything is possible.

10 June 2009 at 20:47  
Anonymous Puritan Preacher said...

Your Grace,

There is a legend that the spiders living in his palatial residence used to terrify Cardinal Wolsey. One cannot help but wonder if the presence of our new 'Archbishop' might have the opposite effect.

10 June 2009 at 21:12  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

More like "Lord High Everything Else" to Mr Brown's "Lord High Executioner" in Gilbert & Sullivan's The Mikado!

In the inimitable words of the Police Blogger Inspector Gadget

You couldn't make it up!

Alfred of Wessex

10 June 2009 at 21:12  
Anonymous would rather be a mouse said...

The Archbishop of Where? Hell's Mouth? Wittenberg?
********

10 June 2009 at 21:17  
Anonymous would rather be a mouse said...

The Archbishop of Where? Hell's Mouth? Wittenberg?
********

10 June 2009 at 21:17  
Anonymous would rather be a mouse said...

Sorry - the comment form's gone funny...

10 June 2009 at 21:19  
Anonymous A. Methodist said...

Hague may not have connected with the public tremendously well, but is no doubt one of the finest oratorical and parlimentary performers the Conservative party have got through in their leadership carousel in the last few years.

10 June 2009 at 21:36  
Blogger Unsworth said...

Your Grace,

Surprising? Hardly. I believe that Blair - having studied the fine detail - is looking for early canonisation, too.

They all get religion in the end.

Now what are Mandelson's plans for total domination of the Church of England?

10 June 2009 at 21:36  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not sure he would accept anything less than a cardinalship

10 June 2009 at 21:46  
Blogger WoollyMindedLiberal said...

William Hague is quite good at comedy. Long may he continue in opposition because his judgement is utterly rotten. Even if you've forgotten I certainly remember him enthusiastically backing Jeffrey Archer as Tory candidate for Lord Mayor!

10 June 2009 at 21:49  
OpenID jamestheless said...

A characteristically corruscating speech from the Bionic Baby, Your Grace. If only Cameron could be half as effective...

Wolsey, who came from humble origins, had more power than any other commoner in English history. He used it to introduce a fairer and more efficient tax system, which greatly reduced the tax burden on the poor, and to make the courts fairer and more accessible; as a result, several rich and powerful individuals who had considered themselves above the law found themselves in jail. He also cracked down on land enclosures and profiteers who overcharged for meat.

What will Mandelson's legacy be?

At the end of his life, Wolsey ruefully remarked "If I had served my God as diligently as I did my king, He would not have given me over in my grey hairs". One wonders whether Mandelson acknowledges any God or king - other than himself, of course.

10 June 2009 at 22:11  
Anonymous Mystic Twat said...

Thou art united in common terror, and thy days are numbered in blood.

10 June 2009 at 22:43  
Blogger Gnostic said...

Sounds like we'll have to refer to him as Handy Mandy from now on...

10 June 2009 at 23:16  
Anonymous McKenzie said...

Your Grace, the right honourable lady fron Conwy, who speaks at the end of the video is in fact my MP. She has announced that she will be standing down at the next farse.

10 June 2009 at 23:23  
Anonymous In Memoriam ( of Marlowe) said...

FAUSTUS:
[...]
No Faustus, curse thyself, curse Lucifer,
That hath deprived thee of the joys of heaven. [[The Clock striketh 12]]

O it strikes, it strikes! Now body, turn to air,
Or Lucifer will bear the quick to hell. [[Thunder and lightning]]

[[Enter Devils-who have promised to dismember him]]
Adders and serpents, let me breathe awhile!
Ugly hell gape not! Come not Lucifer!
I'll burn my books-- ah, Mephastophilis! [[Exeunt with him]]

And the EPILOGUE?
[...]
Faustus is gone! Regard his hellish fall,
Whose fiendful fortune may exhort the wise
Only to wonder at unlawful things:
Whose deepness doth entice such forward wits,
To practise more than heavenly power permits.

10 June 2009 at 23:35  
Anonymous Voyager said...

The Right Honourable the Baron Mandelson of Foy in the County of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the County of Durham, First Secretary of State and Lord President of the Privy Council and Secretary of State for Business and Secretary of State for Innovation and Skills


Must be small print on his visiting card !

11 June 2009 at 03:52  
Anonymous Voyager said...

The Right Honourable the Baron Mandelson of Foy in the County of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the County of Durham, First Secretary of State and Lord President of the Privy Council and Secretary of State for Business and Secretary of State for Innovation and Skills...and partner, Reinaldo Avila da Silva

11 June 2009 at 03:55  
Blogger ultramontane grumpy old catholic said...

What happened to Lord Rumba of Rio. Wasnt that one of his titles?

What was particularly good was to see how easily William Hague batted away the interventions by Dennis McShane (one of the few good labour eggs left in the clutch) and that po-faced Betty Williams, who needed to have the jokes explained to her.

A great post our Grace. A good start to the day

11 June 2009 at 08:07  
Blogger Unsworth said...

@ Voyager

I think you may find that Reinaldo is no longer around...

11 June 2009 at 09:43  
Anonymous philip walling said...

William Hague adds to the gaiety of the nation and God knows we need it at this time. He is a formidable debater and a genius at thinking on his feet and knows just how far to go - it is so easy to run away with yourself when you know you have a clear field.
And it's churlish, Mr Woolly Minded Liberal, to criticise him for his support of Jeffrey Archer. Everybody gets it wrong sometime, but the point of mistakes is that you learn from them, not never to make them.
Hague's brightness and sheer enthusiasm is infectious, and you can't be funny without knowing the difference between truth and lies - that's why Brown has no sense of humour.

11 June 2009 at 10:17  
Anonymous John Malcolmson said...

Great video. And great post Philip Walling - you sum up the difference between Hague and Brown perfectly. Is Hague the best PM we never had?

11 June 2009 at 11:46  
Blogger Wyrdtimes said...

He's homosexual, he hates England and he talks unmitigated BS.

Perfectly qualified.

11 June 2009 at 12:21  
Blogger Sir NOAH said...

If The Scottish Man is the Son of the Manse, then Peter Mandelson is the Man Who Would Be Queen.

11 June 2009 at 13:15  
Blogger OldSouth said...

Your Grace: In honor of this wonderful speech, allow me to post a few relevant words from our secular saint, Mr. Jefferson(bold text is my editorial addition):


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Isn't this why elections are held?

11 June 2009 at 14:38  
Anonymous Anguished Soul said...

Excellent post Your Grace and excellent speech from William Hague. The biggest laugh I've had in ages!

Oh that the Lord would raise up more like him.

11 June 2009 at 14:44  
Blogger WoollyMindedLiberal said...

philip walling said...
And it's churlish, Mr Woolly Minded Liberal, to criticise him for his support of Jeffrey Archer. Everybody gets it wrong sometime, but the point of mistakes is that you learn from them, not never to make them.

And are you extending the same courtesy to Gordon Brown and Peter Mandelson? I hope this is not some special pleading for Tories to be forgiven their blunders while those of New Labour are examined in merciless detail.

Everyone knew that Jeffrey Archer was a fake, a fraud and a phoney - he was a laughing stock before the trial. It took a special sort of determined misjudgement, one of many that Hague committed during his years in charge of the Conservative Party. He was young and inexperienced, much too young and inexperienced.

Would it really be churlish to mention that even standing for leader in 1997 was a huge misjudgement? A smart man would have let the older Michael Howard do the hard slog of getting through the Blair honeymoon.

So long may William Hague continue in Opposition. He's terribly amusing at times and I look forward to his jokes and witty asides.

11 June 2009 at 18:09  
Blogger WoollyMindedLiberal said...

John Malcolmson said...
Is Hague the best PM we never had?.

Not even close. Roy Jenkins will probably hold that title forever.

11 June 2009 at 18:11  
Blogger ZZMike said...

Can they really do that? Dissolve Parliament?

Or should they do that before Mr Lord High Everything Else Brown does it de facto?

Wasn't it Mr Blair who stripped the Lords of the House of most of their powers? Might not Mr Brown do the same for Parliament?

Everybody knows that Britain could be ever so much more efficiently ruled by ministers and councils. The People do so get in the way of progress.

11 June 2009 at 18:24  
Anonymous Mogggy said...

But is Mandelson's position effectively any different to that of Heseltine under Major?

11 June 2009 at 18:39  
Anonymous Anabaptist said...

Unsworth said...

'I think you may find that Reinaldo is no longer around...'

No, he's been transferred today to Real Madrid for 80 million quid.

11 June 2009 at 22:18  
Blogger Unsworth said...

@ Anabaptist

Spelling 2/10. Must try harder...

12 June 2009 at 21:12  
OpenID Robin Wilton said...

Bishop Hatto of Mainz would seem to be the obvious role model...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mouse_Tower

8 January 2010 at 18:10  

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