Monday, July 13, 2009

NHS: ‘An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away’

Steve Slack is a sexpert. We know he is because he is the Director of the Centre for HIV and Sexual Health and member of Independent Advisory Group for HIV Sexual Health (that is the organisation behind the drive to put abortion Adverts on TV and Radio). He is also on the advisory board of the British Association for Sexual Educators (BASE).

He is interested in the role of pleasure for a better understanding of sexual health and more effective sexual health promotion.

He came to Cranmer’s attention this morning as one of the authors of a leaflet entitled ‘Pleasure’. This has been produced by the NHS in Sheffield and which carries the slogan ‘An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away’.

It is aimed at children.

For too long, say the authors, experts have concentrated on the need for safe sex and committed relationships.

“Together with your five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes of physical activity three times a week, what about sex or masturbation twice a week?” he says.

Mr Slack claims that instead of promoting teenage sex, this leaflet could encourage them to delay losing their virginity until they are certain they will enjoy it.

One wonders whether Mr Slack is deliberately trying to delude us, or is simply a self-delusional libertarian.

Cranmer has so many issues vying for his attention that he was tempted to dismiss this altogether. But this would be unwise, because in 21st-century Britain, the weirdest ideas often end up as government policy, especially Labour government policy. It would not be long before we had a government department as part of the NHS dedicated to ensuring sex and/or masturbation amongst the masses as a right – even a duty.

NHS-sponsored onanism: it’s what the right hand is for.

Or, not to be rightist, for the left-handed may feel discriminated against, and the ambidextrous abnormal and alienated; it’s what hands are for.

Why is the NHS devoting resources to producing what is, in effect, child enticement?

Tellingly, BASE is sponsored by:

Emotional bliss - feel the heat, increase the pleasure
Beecourse – adult sex toys and sex aids and erotic furniture
Onjoy – lingerie, the one stop shop for girls who want to have fun
MediPlus – various medical products

Cranmer remembers the prescience of the late great Michael Wharton, who, in his Peter Simple column, created the terrifying Dr Llewelyn Goth-Jones, Director of Community Medicine of ‘Strechford’, and whose vision was of a society where everybody, whatever their age, should be able to enjoy sex with everybody else, whenever they feel like it, however they want it. In Peter Simple’s world, Dr Goth-Jones also ran a chain of contraceptive and abortion clinics across the West Midlands, and was the Director of Malboge Pharmaceuticals, a mammoth subsidiary of the global Nadir consortium.

Welcome to Strechford.


Blogger David T said...

Apparently, a wank protects against prostate cancer.

13 July 2009 at 15:49  
Anonymous oiznop said...

I thought it made you blind.

13 July 2009 at 16:06  
Blogger Rebel Saint said...

Not addressing the subject directly but if you would permit me a little diversion that illustrates something not entirely unrelated.

I have just completed a "Speak Easy" course at my children's CofE primary school. The course is a product of the Family Planning Association [one of the main protagonists against lowering the limits in the UK and challenging the abortion laws in NI] and is propaganda masquerading as education.

It's main premise is that teenagers will have sex and so we must stop them getting pregnant - or at least stop them giving birth.

The last session of the course is a very conniving and underhand trick to get you to support their political objectives (i.e. lobbying for compulsory sex from age 5 onwards with no right for parental withdrawal of their children).

The course makes not even the slightest nod towards the idea of promoting abstinence, self-control, self-respect, staying sober, marriage, commitment etc.

I raised some concerns with the head of governors. The head teacher questioned other parents on the course as to their attitudes towards the course.

Fantastic I thought. Many of the other parents are also committed Christian. A chance for us to show that there is concern about the sexualisation of our children, that there is an alternative to the "make it more explicit, more often & sooner" message. Guess what ... they had no concerns what-so-ever! Apparently, because the course told us that their message & methods are the most effective and the best (who could argue with the Netherlands), then so it is!

I despair.

13 July 2009 at 16:11  
Blogger John Doe said...

As far as I can ascertain, 'some' of His Grace's communicants will have no problems at all eva way.

13 July 2009 at 16:16  
Blogger Gnostic said...

I wondered if you'd cover this one, Your Grace.

This leaflet, enhanced adult pleasures aside, is only going to make sexually curious/precocious young minds even more curious about what they are missing out on. Curiosity tends to lead to experimentation. And I bet it doesn't come wrapped in nondescript brown paper.

Naturally, the list of sponsors are only too keen to protect the minds and morality of our youngsters. It's akin to a leaflet about the pleasure of chemical highs being sponsored by a drugs cartel.

And who, exactly, is paying for this junk to be printed and distributed? Oh wait...

13 July 2009 at 16:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every step this government takes towards "children's sex education", seems to be inappropriate to me. It inevitably backfires and makes the situation worse.

I am of the opinion that children should remain innocent for as long as possible. If I had children now (mine are grown, thankfully), I would be disturbed at what they're teaching in schools and would probably opt for home schooling.

13 July 2009 at 16:36  
Blogger Chrysippus said...

I well remember a friend of mine at University, who decided to give up both masturbation and smoking at the same time.

I saw him after a week and asked him how it was all going.

He replied that he was down to ten a day....

...... and that he'd also cut down on the cigarettes.

13 July 2009 at 16:47  
Anonymous Laird said...

If communicants continue behaving in this manner I'll be forced to submit some more poetry. Sex is a
serious matter. Oiznop I'm sure
you would agree with this.

13 July 2009 at 17:01  
Anonymous schizoider-myth said...

Sex is indeed a serious matter....the sacred gift of procreation.

13 July 2009 at 17:04  
Anonymous jock said...

Mr Slack looks as if he could use some more fruit and veg.Too much of the ol' Mrs Palm and her five daughters makes you go blind and pale.

13 July 2009 at 17:16  
Blogger John Woolman said...

Having spent a fair chunk of my life working for the NHS in Sheffield, I decided to investigate this a little further. it seems that the leaflet is not aimed at children but at those who teach and "counsel" children and adolescents. (

Having worked at the dirty end of the NHS, investigating sudden and unexpected death and, in my earlier years, delivering babies, carrying out abortion and providing contraceptive advice, i am enthusiastic about helping young people to understand how their body works. All too often sex education is taught about in terms of rubber, synthetic and natural hormones and the anatomy and physiology of human reproduction. Human sexual activity is, or ought to be about, love, pleasure, the "right end of love" and enduring friendship and affection. Pleasure is an important part of the equation, and whilst i don't think this book presents an optimal approach, pleasure is something that needs to be discussed openly when talking to youngsters about the sexual component of their lives, whether you are a professional or a parent. I wish i had had it or something like it when I was doing my family planning training 34 years ago.

13 July 2009 at 17:28  
Anonymous jock said...

Pleasure?Do you still think women are gritting their teeth,lying back and thinking of England and watching the clock til the three minutes are up?Which century are you living in?Women expect pleasure
and woe betide any man who doesn't
give a good performance.

13 July 2009 at 17:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In which century did women in Scotland lie back for three minutes of teeth gritting clock watching, cogitating the nature of England, and it's paradoxical pleasures?

13 July 2009 at 17:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh for Englands green and pleasant land........and ten more minutes!

13 July 2009 at 17:58  
Anonymous jock said...

The women of Scotland have never had to endure 'the english way' in any century.

13 July 2009 at 18:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paradoxically speaking ofcourse!

13 July 2009 at 18:16  
Anonymous invincibly ignorant said...

''a self-delusional libertarian''

usually you are more concise Your Grace ; )

13 July 2009 at 18:33  
Anonymous jock said...

Can your wee brain not comprehend that I was referring to the English problem originally.My innate charm and gentlemanly demeanour characteristic of the Scot prevent me from being more explicit.
I do concede the 10 minute joke was very humourous.

13 July 2009 at 18:34  
Anonymous venerable bede said...

I think invincibly ignorant should
go back to his passtime of listening to sratchy LPs of Bishop
Sheen or rattling his rosary beads
rather than bothering His Grace with such trifling matters.

13 July 2009 at 18:41  
Blogger ultramontane grumpy old catholic said...

Your Grace

"An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away, but brings the sex therapist, the social worker and that nice little man who sells the blue pills..."

It's a wonder a certain chewing gum manufacturer wasn't sponsoring BASE - since they promised to double your pleasure, double your fun.

I guess that the best way to counter this ridiculous idea is as most of your communicants are doing - by mockery.

I wonder whether 'Have I got news for you' will pick it up?

Rebel Saint: I wonder whether parents are too cowed these days to protest. Teachers used to be in loco parentis. Today the parents are sidelined, unless the young person goes off the rails. Then it's the parents' fault.

13 July 2009 at 18:47  
Blogger Alfred of Wessex said...

When I was in grammar school I couldn't understand why three particular books were on my "required reading" list for English Language, even though they were not required for any exam. These were:

Ninteen Eighty-Four and Animal Farm by George Orwell, and Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

Now I know. We were made to read them as a warning.

The Cultural Marxists who have spent the last 30 years completing their Long March through Britain's Institutions and media have obviously used them as instruction manuals.

Lord have mercy on us.

13 July 2009 at 19:15  
Blogger Obnoxio The Clown said...

Why are you having a go at libertarians? I am a libertarian and I'm as horrified by this as you are!

13 July 2009 at 19:29  
Anonymous John Dole said...

Because it's your turn this week
Bozo.Stop whining.Catholics next week.

13 July 2009 at 19:41  
Anonymous John Retired with lots of dosh despite the global nature of things said...


13 July 2009 at 19:52  
Anonymous John The Scrounge said...

How does someone who says 'does any one really give a shit' have the audacity to claim they are horrified?

13 July 2009 at 19:58  
Anonymous not a machine said...

It would appear sex is yet again trying to sell us somthing , secular infiriorty complexes lead to the purchase of things to bolster it , and distracting jealousies .

say our prayers keep the faith , uphold the communion , no need for a sex expert as you will find the love expert

13 July 2009 at 20:03  
Anonymous People on Benefits are scroungers said...

Or is it a hypothetical question?

13 July 2009 at 20:03  
OpenID jamestheless said...

rebel saint,

"lobbying for compulsory sex from age 5 onwards with no right for parental withdrawal of their children"

I hope - I really hope - that's not what is being advocated!

"Compulsory sex education from age 5 onwards", perhaps?

13 July 2009 at 20:51  
Anonymous Stewart Cowan said...

It’s a typical ploy - talk about sex like it’s just another thing - nothing special - no need for commitment or even love. Five portions of fruit a day, two portions of sex a week and be a good little peon in this Brave New World where the only love permitted is between slave and state.

13 July 2009 at 21:45  
Blogger ZZMike said...

I'm struck by the aptness of BASE's acronym.

Rebel Saint: "... lobbying for compulsory sex from age 5 onwards ..."

I'm hoping you meant education.

Woolman: "... the leaflet is not aimed at children but at those who teach and "counsel" children "

Which makes it worse.

"Human sexual activity is, or ought to be about, love, pleasure, the "right end of love" and enduring friendship and affection."

Naturally, the NHS and the BASE-men will write study plans that include classroom demonstrations and group activity.

Alfred of Wessex: "... three particular books ..." At least you and your classmates were forewarned. I wonder how many of today's youth have read any of them.

It probably won't be long before the Govermnent appoints a Sex Minister. I'm sure a list of likely candidates presents itself. Maybe Mr Slack will be in the running.

David T leads off with: "Apparently, a wank protects against prostate cancer."

If true, we should find a significantly lower incidence of prostate cancer among Catholic clergymen and monks. Sounds like a simple study.

In other news:

Pupils see pronographic film

"The class of eight and nine year-olds were watching a computer presentation on a projector when a video of a man and woman having sexual intercourse suddenly flashed onto the screen.
. . . .
...youngsters at Pennthorpe School in Rudgwick, West Sussex, a Christian day school, were left "distraught" by the images.
. . . .
The £11,200-a-year school, whose motto is "Putting the fun into fundamentals", has offered counselling ...."

Perhaps Mr Slack has been called in.

13 July 2009 at 23:19  
Anonymous the recusant said...

The Snake oil salesman: a travelling "doctor" with dubious credentials, selling some medicine (such as snake oil) with boisterous marketing hype, often supported by pseudo-scientific evidence, typically bogus. To enhance sales, an accomplice in the crowd would often "attest" the value of the product in an effort to provoke buying enthusiasm. The "doctor" would prudently leave town before his customers realized that they had been cheated.

13 July 2009 at 23:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not a machine said.

It would appear that sex is yet again trying to sell us somthing, secular infiriorty complexes lead to the purchase of.......a dictionary for starters!

14 July 2009 at 00:17  
Blogger dutchlionfrans1953 said...

This is all a deliberate policy to destroy the foundations our society is based upon. It is all part of the Marxist "Political-Correct" State Ideology! The powers behind the scenes have been working on this for decades.

I am from the Netherlands (so it says in my passport...) but ashamed of what it stands for now!

Actually I am, according to Scripture a sojourner in this world. I rather show my pass to the Kingdom of God! Signed by the Blood of Jesus Christ which I applied to my spirit, soul and body!

Scripture, even Jesus Christ Himself, talks of this time.

Jesus Christ said: But as the days of Noe were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. Well, it is beginning to look just like that!

What did the days of Noah look like?

Genesis 6: 5 says: And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

And verse 11 & 12: The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.

That talks about homosexuality! The thoughts of their hearts were only evil continuously!

The government - instead of preventing this wickedness and punishing the immoral, the vile, the perverts, the child-abuser, etc. - is leading the way in wickedness.

So when God's instrument against evil has itself become so corrupted that it leads the nation astray, only He can intervene. And this is what, in the end, He will do!

14 July 2009 at 00:54  
Blogger Brad said...

Oiznop, it may very well do both; which misfortune you prefer is up to you.

14 July 2009 at 01:02  
Anonymous not a machine said...

couldnt agree more stuart cowan

anon 0:17 get a name !

14 July 2009 at 01:22  
Anonymous jude the obscure said...

@zzmike FYI
Any masturbatory practice by Catholic clergy and monks would occur solely for health reasons
if indeed it occured at all.No pleasure would be derived from this act as it is a grievous sin,unlike self flagellation which is the preferred option.

Every time an act of masturbation occurs anywhere in the world tears of blood flow from St. Handsome's eyes in Onanist Cathedral Rome.

14 July 2009 at 03:36  
Blogger Jess The Dog said...

The promotion of the daily act of onanism is completely in line with wider government policy and practice since 1997.

14 July 2009 at 08:31  
Anonymous Richard said...

Perhaps the NHS will also now encourage pupils to take up the oft-extolled health benefits of a glass of red wine a day?

(And isn't it, analoguously, a human right to drink as much as one wants, at any age one wants, with no supervision required?)

14 July 2009 at 08:39  
Anonymous TheGlovner said...

"self-delusional libertarian"

That phrase from the religious is ironically delusional in itself.

14 July 2009 at 09:25  
Blogger dutchlionfrans1953 said...

Just watch this short video and you know this is a deliberate erosion and in the end destruction of all morals, just as the new, unreckognized, State-religion of Marist 'Political-Correctism" dictates!

God has a better way

14 July 2009 at 10:51  
Blogger Ray said...

Losing control of the ultimate embargo is the churches fear, after the tokenism of funny hats and itchy undershirts, and altering diets to make the most available meats "sinful or dirty", they denied a generally ignorant peasantry of the joy of sex, replacing it with guilt and fear. Whilst the church and it's heirachy continuied with what came naturally. Did you not yourself have a wife and children your grace, much in common with the rest of the archbishops cardinals and popes.
Norman Dee

14 July 2009 at 14:36  
Anonymous Alfred Wells said...

I lampooned "an orgasm a day" to hilarious effect here:

14 July 2009 at 16:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

quelle A.B.O.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!on vit sur quelle planete??? non mais faut ARRETTER

15 July 2009 at 15:10  
Anonymous zizi said...

On ne parle que l'anglais cheri!

15 July 2009 at 15:19  
Blogger booker said...

Read about daily orgasms and other essential sex info in Pushkin's Secret Journal 1836-1837 the best book on love and sex. Outstanding literature as well.

17 July 2009 at 15:53  
Anonymous Rose said...

The reason I love this site is because of the rivetting information that one gains from communicants.I look forward to wiling away the hours reading Pushkin's sex secrets.

18 July 2009 at 08:29  

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