Wednesday, October 21, 2009

His Grace – an update

Cranmer has been profoundly moved by the hundreds of messages he has received, not only upon his august blog but also sent directly to him via email. He had no idea that so many bishops, priests, peers and politicians partook of His Grace’s daily bread, and he apologises that he has been silent. But a period of reflection and counsel was necessary. He deeply regrets the evident inconvenience that this has caused to his readers and communicants, particularly at a time when His Holiness is forging a Roman-Anglican via media and Mr Cameron is advocating a Conservative-Marxist third way which will magically make Parliament ‘more representative’. Upon these matters Cranmer has much to say, but he is sorely distracted.

His Grace says that he has taken counsel, and he has. And the most beneficial has come from people whom he has never met, and almost certainly never will (not to mention Beethoven, whom he hopes one day to meet to the sublime reverberations of the Missa Solemnis). There is a kinship in cyber-fellowship which is every bit as real as the eternal Communion of Saints, and he has been persuaded by these much-valued friends (not Beethoven) of the virtue of his motivation and the righteousness of his cause.

Injustice is an unbearable malignance. As some will know, it has always been in His Grace’s nature to contend for justice and truth in both the religious and political realms, even though the costs have been great. His flesh may be weak and occasionally falter, but the spirit triumphs. There is somewhere a metaphorical equivalence between the penalty of dissonance in contending against the postmodern zeitgeist and the all-consuming flames of 1556.

His Grace is now drawn once again to fight for justice: the cause is indeed just and must be prosecuted to the full. In order to do this, he humbly asks for the support of his readers and communicants. He has done this before in the spiritual realm, and has been moved by the fervent outpouring and efficacy of your prayers.

But this request is temporal and material, and His Grace has been reluctant to ever make such a plea, not least because there are very many far more worthy causes. But a certain wrong needs to be righted: a gross injustice and an offence against all that is right and true needs to be challenged, and the costs are acutely material as well as profoundly emotional. His Grace is not being sued and is the subject of no lawsuit against him: he has done no wrong, committed no crime, and neither is any alleged. And yet he suffers immense detriment.

Justice should not be thwarted by Mammon, but it is observed that it all so frequently is, especially when Mammon appears in the guise of a tax-payer-funded Philistine giant ogre towering over the Israelite shepherd of modest means. Black dogs may pass but black holes are not so ephemeral. Other top political blogs are supported either by wealthy benefactors or advertising revenue: Archbishop Cranmer has neither. In order to prosecute his cause, His Grace has been advised by knowledgeable and supportive communicants both humble and noble that it would be no shame to make an appeal for funds to support His Grace’s august blog (and his ashes) at this time: to give his readers and communicants the opportunity to make an offering in proportion to their appreciation (which may, of course, be none).

But His Grace would like to make it clear that his Collection Plate is not simply a pew-hopping one-way transaction to fix the church spire or to invest in hedge funds or shares to short-sell in order to meet the episcopal pension deficit. No, while he would be grateful for all donations large and small, if there are readers and communicants who would prefer to have their sums returned when the black hole dog has passed – which it surely will – His Grace will do precisely that. Paypal provides all the necessary details to permit this, or alternatively send an email direct to confirm.

His Grace would like once again to express his sincere appreciation to all of those who appreciate him and are holding him in prayer at this time of testing, whatever your religious belief or political creed (which appear to be manifold and diverse, indeed, quite catholic). Pax vobiscum and bless you all.


Blogger D. Singh said...

Praised be God!

21 October 2009 at 12:10  
Anonymous Dick the Prick said...

Your Grace

Good man. Glad you're on the mend.

WV: nonserf - not sure about that!

21 October 2009 at 12:12  
Blogger The Heresiarch said...

Not to pry, but do I take it that you are being sued? Are you, perhaps, the victim of one of those super-injunctions we've been hearing about lately? Have you, perchance, the latest personage to fall foul of Mr Justice Eady?

As you may know, the Heresiarch has a long-standing interest in such matters, and is ready to do his insignificant bit.

21 October 2009 at 12:29  
Blogger PaulineG said...

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

21 October 2009 at 12:30  
Anonymous Hank Petram said...

Never has it given me greater satisfaction to mumble, "And with thy spirit."

21 October 2009 at 12:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great to see you back!

Grace and peace, brother!

21 October 2009 at 12:48  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Such a relief to see you back your Grace.

I realise this may be difficult, but could you elaborate on the injustice?

Warm regards and thank you for one of the best blogs in this amoral society

21 October 2009 at 12:55  
Blogger D. Singh said...

Your Grace,

Welcome home – and please consider matters that may be sub judice or may become so.

21 October 2009 at 13:00  
Anonymous Matthew Dear said...

I am overwhelmed to know that you are 'safe' if not entirely 'well'. Continued prayers for you through and during your trials.

21 October 2009 at 13:01  
Anonymous Anabaptist said...

Nice to see you back, Cranny. The world seems once more to have returned a fairly even keel. It appears possible that my earlier enquiry about a suit aginst you might not have been too wide of the mark.

21 October 2009 at 13:02  
Blogger ultramontane grumpy old catholic said...

Let the news go out across the world - Cranmer is back!

Welcome back Your Grace!

I hope that we, your communicants can do our bit to help you drive that black dog from your archiepiscopal palace / urn.

I never did like dogs. Black cats are better - they're for luck!

21 October 2009 at 13:04  
Anonymous KS said...

Thank God you are back. Lots of worried people are slightly less worried now.

21 October 2009 at 13:08  
Blogger Archbishop Cranmer said...

His Grace would like to clarify (and has included it above): he is not being sued and is the subject of no lawsuit against him: he has done no wrong, committed no crime, and neither is any alleged. And yet he suffers immense detriment.

He apologises if this appears a little cryptic, but it would not be proper at this stage to expand upon the details.

21 October 2009 at 13:10  
Blogger dmk said...

Welcome back, some of us were getting worried, so this is great. Many of us also appreciate the fact that you're blog, unlike some other well known political blogs, isn't awash with adverts.

As Heresiarch says, if there's a specific threat behind this, then do let us know (if you're allowed). Nil desperandum illegitimarsi, as David Jenkins used to say.

21 October 2009 at 13:11  
Anonymous Laughing at Gordon said...

Welcome back, Your Grace. On a day when it appears that your stylistic polar opposite, Devil's Kitchen, has relinquished his sword, it is pleasing to see that the spirit of one of my other favourite bloggers is still willing.

21 October 2009 at 13:17  
Anonymous Anabaptist said...

'His Grace would like to clarify (and has included it above): he is not being sued...'

Oops, sorry, Cranny. Missed that. It must have been the relief at seeing your return.

21 October 2009 at 13:19  
Blogger Wrinkled Weasel said...

Welcome back. It's a relief.

21 October 2009 at 13:45  
Anonymous sydneysider said...

Your Grace,For starters you don't hold a surf board like that.When I said we would go surfing I didn't mean in the North Sea.It's going to take a while for those hands to thaw out!Welcome back.

21 October 2009 at 14:20  
Blogger David said...

I would be happy to mke a donation. I'm afraid I cannot afford a large donation but hope that others will join; as they say north of the border
'Mony a mickle maks a muckle!

21 October 2009 at 14:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your Grace,

Glad to hear from you. Is your credit/debit card donation facility working properly? I seem to be having difficulties getting my donation accepted, although I think I'm still solvent.


21 October 2009 at 14:35  
Anonymous Justin Hinchcliffe said...

Your Grace, please accept my apologies as I'm not currently in a position to support you financially. I will, though, remember you in my prayers.

I would encourage fellow communicants to 'cough up' if they're in a position to do so.

Ave, ave, ave Maria!

21 October 2009 at 14:38  
Blogger Clameur de Haro said...

Clameur de Haro is delighted to rejoice at Your Grace's return.

Nil illegitimii te carborundum.

21 October 2009 at 14:39  
Blogger Archbishop Cranmer said...

Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms TES,

Thank you for trying: the Paypal facility is in full working order.

Mr Hinchcliffe,

His Grace deeply appreciates your fervent prayers.

21 October 2009 at 14:48  
Blogger Gnostic said...

His Grace: de profundis!

Um...I don't mind chipping in a little something (Like David I'm not rich) but I don't have a PayPal account. I don't particularly want one. Is there an alternative?

21 October 2009 at 14:54  
Blogger moorlandhunter said...

I'm gkad that you are feeling better and hope you continue to full health.

21 October 2009 at 14:55  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A small donation your Grace.

Please forgive the small amount but I am out of work.

I wish you every strength in the world to right this wrong.

Warm regards

21 October 2009 at 14:55  
Blogger McKenzie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

21 October 2009 at 14:57  
Blogger Gnostic said...


Devils' Kitchen seems to have disappeared off the Google server. Anyone know why?

21 October 2009 at 15:01  
Blogger OldSouth said...

Good to see you back, ol' buddy. In the future, I'd suggest you just not leave posts that sound like cryptic suicide notes.

It gets people 'riled up'.

Illegitimi non carborundum.

(Don't let the bastards grind you down.)

21 October 2009 at 15:24  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"an offering in proportion to their appreciation": please don't think the piffling amount I have contributed represents that, it's just all I can manage at the moment. Good luck with whatever it is, and God Bless Your Grace.

21 October 2009 at 15:26  
Blogger Archbishop Cranmer said...

Ms Gnostic,

One does not need a Paypal account in order to make a contribution. One may do so by any usual means of electronic cash transfer (ie credit or debit card).

Bless you.

21 October 2009 at 15:31  
Blogger Kenpachi said...

Your Grace,

It's such a relief to see you back on the inter-web again. You have been sorely missed and come payday I'll be happy to make a contribution to your work.

All the best,


21 October 2009 at 15:39  
Blogger The Heresiarch said...

People are amazingly trusting, your Grace, contributing so open-handedly to a purpose they can merely guess at. It quite restores one's faith in human nature.

In Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds, there's a long list of dubious enterprises that sprung up at the time of the South Sea Bubble. My favourite was "a company for carrying on an undertaking of great advantage, but no-one to know what it is". I imagine it was a prototype Ponzi scheme.

21 October 2009 at 15:45  
Blogger ukipwebmaster said...

Welcome back

21 October 2009 at 15:56  
Blogger madkat said...

Welome back

I am a daily reader but new to

comments page. This is a first for

me.You are priceless.Donation on its way to you.

21 October 2009 at 16:00  
Anonymous Voyager said...

Your Good Health Your Grace ! May you stand to fight the Good Fight ....and Win !

21 October 2009 at 16:01  
Anonymous Generalfeldmarschall said...

Tecumque amice.

and, at the risk of offending Your Grace by continuing the pig-Latin:

Nil illegetimi carborundum.

My contribution - in its unfortunate meagreness in no way reflecting my boundless appreciation - has moved via PayPal.

21 October 2009 at 16:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your grace , is one of the finest , if not the finest writers on the net.

I have just made my contribution to you and wish you all the best and i hope that I will be able to read more of your writings in the future.

with humble regards

ray McCarthy

21 October 2009 at 16:13  
Anonymous Adrian said...

Welcome back Your Grace!

21 October 2009 at 17:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

May I add my voice to those of other atheists who wish you well and who were distressed by the tone of your previous post. I would send money but I cannot unless I understand the cause - while we agree about more than you might suspect, there is still much that divides us.

21 October 2009 at 17:17  
Blogger McKenzie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

21 October 2009 at 17:37  
Anonymous Zach Johnstone said...

It is a huge relief to see you back on the blogosphere; this blog has and - so long as it continues - always will be my principal inspiration to seek erudite political discernment online each morning before university.

If there is anything at all that I can do, I will without hesitation. I may not be able to contribute materially as I so wish I could, but injustice cannot be allowed to prevail over integrity. I will do anything I can to strengthen your cause.

It is a welcome relief to see that this blog will be a fixture of my political development for time to come; I am not ashamed to say that I owe this blog for the foundations of my ideological disposition, something still very much forming, and I shall continue to rely upon it as long as Your Grace honours us with these uniquely informative articles.

21 October 2009 at 17:59  
Anonymous len said...

Welcome back your Grace.

21 October 2009 at 18:07  
Blogger Wrinkled Weasel said...

Now the Devil has disappeared.

It's all a big joke until somebody Immanentizes the Eschaton

21 October 2009 at 18:35  
Anonymous Ernest said...

Your grace,

A small donation to offset your black hole.

I hope to see you fully restored soon.

21 October 2009 at 19:34  
Anonymous Knighthawk said...

Its great to see you peeping over the parapet Your Grace.

I am intrigued as to the identity of the tax-payer funded Philistine ogre that needs toppling, but happy to contribute to your fighting fund anyway as I trust your judgement and I trust you as a brother Christian.

The Israelite shepherd, David, confronted Goliath with five smooth stones, a sling, and faith in Almighty God. I do hope that your readers and communicants furnish you with enough financial ammunition to do a similar job in our day and age.

I will continue to pray that your faith will not fail, and that you prevail over your formidable adversary.

You remain an inspiration to us all.

21 October 2009 at 19:50  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wellcome back

21 October 2009 at 19:51  
Blogger Savonarola said...

Your Grace

You appear to be on your 'uppers' but we have no way of knowing the quantum of the fiscal deficit nor if this matter is a 'one-off' or a permanent budget deficit.

Some elaboration may provide guidance as to how much and how often we need to put pennies in the plate.

In any event I have sent something sufficient to nourish the body in an enjoyable manner for a day or two.

The fire in Florence is a distant memory. I have had the misfortune to be reincarnated as an incompetent day trader.

21 October 2009 at 19:54  
Blogger lilith said...

Sir, I am a wanton and pagan of scant means but I cannot let you go unnourished.

21 October 2009 at 19:57  
Blogger Jockdownsouth said...

Another modest Paypal donation winging its way to Your Grace. Please let us know the full background when it is possible to do so.

21 October 2009 at 20:26  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your Grace,
What a joy to find you back! God heard my prayer that you should be helped in your affliction and given strength to continue.


21 October 2009 at 21:12  
Blogger Old Holborn said...


You had the entire UK blogosphere going there.

Put your face to the sun, feel the warmth and smile.

21 October 2009 at 21:46  
Blogger Old Holborn said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

21 October 2009 at 22:14  
Anonymous Fran said...

Deo Gratias and welcome back, Your Grace!

21 October 2009 at 22:16  
Blogger Chrysippus said...

Bloody Hell. There was I, really worried about you, and lo and behold here you are with a plea for money.

At least the Nigerians give a semi plausible tale.

Notwithstanding, as a church attending atheist, (the Authorised Version is some of the best English ever written and the acoustics in Canterbury Cathedral during Choral Evensong are even better than the sum of their parts) the widow's mite is winging its way to you via PayPal.

Take care. Thank goodness normal service is resumed.

21 October 2009 at 22:25  
OpenID jobtwenteewun1to3 said...

Your Grace,

I am utterly, utterly delighted to learn of your return today. I have offered many prayers in recent days for you.

Pay day is a week Friday and a contribution shall then be gladly made.

21 October 2009 at 22:50  
Blogger C. Stephanie said...

Welcome back, friend. Please,don't leave the house or start for work without putting on the armor recommended in Ephesians 6. Then you're covered.

21 October 2009 at 23:57  
Anonymous Stewart Cowan said...

I threw a few notes onto your collection plate. Keep us updated if we need to dig a little deeper.

22 October 2009 at 00:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your Grace

Like many I am glad deeply glad to read of an improvement in your spirit. Like many I am inclined to help with your materialneeds. But like many in this age would greatly value more insight into what circumstances obtain here.Can your Grace help the doubting Thomases?

22 October 2009 at 10:06  
Blogger Gnostic said...

Your Grace, I'm ready to chip in my small contribution. Can you please assure me that this donation will in no way directly enrich the Cameroons or treat Mrs Your Grace to a slap up meal? Is the money to be used to keep your eruditions, both religious and political, flowing? The latter is most acceptable, the former not.

22 October 2009 at 10:19  
Blogger Archbishop Cranmer said...

Ms Gnostic,

There is no question of any funds enriching the Conservative Party, or of subsidising His Grace's holidays or social life. The funds are directed solely at addressing a gross injustice.

Through the generosity of his communicants, he is 10% of the way there. He might post a thermometer next to the donate button, like they do when funds are needed to repair the church roof...

22 October 2009 at 11:07  
Anonymous Roger Dodger said...

Your Grace,

As an atheist I am struggling with the dissonance resultant of making the following donation on the basis of nothing but faith.

I hope to be made aware of the final destination of my funds in due course.

In the meantime please accept that this pittance is as much as I can spare at the moment.

Peace be with you indeed.

22 October 2009 at 11:24  
Blogger Preacher said...

Hallelujah! you are back, welcome, welcome, welcome,
Reading the worried postings from such a variety of people has been truly moving & enlightening. I don't know what it has done for you Your Grace, but it has been inspirational to see so many genuine people, the love & concern has been almost tangible & now I see why the Almighty loves them all so much (wether they are believers or not).
Let us mount up ready for war, "We band of brothers, we happy few".

22 October 2009 at 11:58  
Anonymous TheGlovner said...

I will gladly make a small contribution when I get home from work. Can't do paypal in the office, they think it will be used for buying porn or something and obviously can't trust us because of it.

Why don't you get up one of those little thermometer do daas that they have outside churches for fund raising.

Anyhoo, glad to see there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you to head for.

22 October 2009 at 13:43  
Blogger Archbishop Cranmer said...

Mr Glovner,

'Tis done.

Today His Grace is has a dog's life...

22 October 2009 at 15:21  
Blogger dmk said...

What's all this about Papal transfers? Not you as well?

22 October 2009 at 15:54  
Anonymous francis said...

Your Grace, I am greatly relieved to see that your ashes are still with us. Having followed your blog for about 2 years, I am willing to trust your assertions, however non-specific, as to the nature of your cause, and my mite has accordingly been dropped into the box.

22 October 2009 at 16:26  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I need a bit more detail to donate - which is in no way a lack of appreciation of your excellent blog.

22 October 2009 at 17:39  
Anonymous Sea Oxen said...

Your Grace, I have made an extremely modest contribution to assist you in your time of need. Your motives are of no interest to me - you could be spending the lot on White Lightning for all I care.

It has been a privilege reading your thoughts. I hope that things return to normal soon.

22 October 2009 at 18:20  
Blogger Mrs Proudie of Barchester said...

come back to us hale and hearty, Your Grace! We have prayed for you in the sepulchres of Barchester: Mr Harding sends his prayers and good wishes and even Mr. Slope has lit a candle. I look for tidings of your full recovery in the pages of The Jupiter.

22 October 2009 at 19:49  
Anonymous no nonny said...

Your Grace - my small contribution is forthcoming.

The symptoms of my own situation are not unlike those you describe; but should the Saviour help me to clamber out of it, I will increase my offering. I've long intended that - in return for the privilege of reading and contributing to your blog.

22 October 2009 at 20:27  
Blogger dutchlionfrans1953 said...

Dear Cranmer!
Great to see you have the fighting spirit and have not thrown your towel in the ring!

But it would greatly help the contributions and support even in prayer if we would know more specifics about the fight.

You talk about "a thermometer next to the donate button, like they do when funds are needed to repair the church roof..." but here you mention a specific need: The church roof.

Now you ask us for donations without mentioning what they are for, other than for a struggle for justice. I can not speak for others. And though I would certainly stand with you in any just fight, I like to know more before I can stand with you, and effectively support you materially, even spirtually. I hope you understand that not sending any money based on your vague request is not a vote of non-confidence, but only personal friends or ministries I know personally will I give in such a way. I only know your Blog - not even your real name - and appreciate it, and I also support just causes financially, but I must know the cause better, like a church roor. Then I know what it is, and can compare such with other causes that need support. And can make a knowledgeable, informed choice. I am sorry I can not now make that. And being informed will not just bring in finances as a vote of confidence in yóu, but will truelly bring in support, and greater amounts of support of people who make YOUR CAUSE THÉIR CAUSE, which is what we need, and that is really what you want!

So I encourage you to consider being specific to inform us so we can make your cause our cause.

22 October 2009 at 20:31  
Anonymous Scrooge said...

Tis not usually in my nature to part with coinage, but a quid will not harm my purse any, and your writings are soulful and uplifting enough to be worthy of my quidage. It seems obvious from past writings that your integrity is sourced from the depths of scriptural law and wisdom, so I do not doubt that your withholding of the facts at this stage is anything but crucial to the mystery and purpose of this crusade for justice.

My heart leans to red line that shall rise in the east, and my soul waits atop the steep climb ready to drink from the river of justice that shall cascade down into the valley of darkness and flood the plains with truth and light. Oh what joys, and all for a mere quid! Blessed be!

22 October 2009 at 22:22  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cranno old mate. I am reminded of two things; the Great War when South Africa allied itself to the cause. A recruiting drive saw many of the old Boer Commandos turn up ready for a stoush. They only had one question of Smuts "We're ready. Who are we fighting, the British or the Germans?"
The other incident was when a man was convicted of assaulting an obnoxious provocateur. The beak acknowleged the provocation but said "I have no alternative but to convict you for assault" and imposed a heavy fine. The defendant cheerfully thanked the bench and said he regarded the offence and subsequent fine as an investment in humanity.

I know not who you are fighting, nor why, but, dammit, I'm joining in. You see Cranno, you represent the best of humanity. Up and at them boyyo, lay about you!


22 October 2009 at 23:55  
Anonymous John Knox said...

Dear Communicants!

The truth about his eminence's collection plate:

Cranmer is trying to pay off his share in the NATIONAL DEBT!

It fits the Bill:

A certain wrong needs to be righted: a gross injustice and an offence against all that is right, noble and true needs to be challenged, and the costs are acutely material as well as profoundly emotional.

22 October 2009 at 23:55  
Anonymous jeremy hyatt said...

I suspect you may not enjoy my occasional comments but welcome back anyway.

Pax tecum

23 October 2009 at 18:36  
Blogger Marie1797 said...

Your Grace,
One is intrigued as to the plot behind the tax-payer funded Philistine giant ogre and wonders if there is a particular timescale by which the River needs to be flowing?

23 October 2009 at 23:43  
Blogger Archbishop Cranmer said...

Miss/Mrs/Ms Marie1797,

His Grace regrets that, for legal reasons, the identity of the tax-payer-funded Philistine giant ogre must remain undisclosed, for the time being at least. He wil reveal what he can when it seems prudent to do so.

Ideally, the River needs to have reached Dog's Breakfast by the end of November, and His Grace estimates that Righteousness must be in sight by April 2010. Full flow is a hope for June/July target.

24 October 2009 at 08:34  
Blogger maggi said...

Archbishop, so glad you are seeing glimpses of hope. I am fighting a Black Dog of my own, so will not paypal you at the moment. But if I see the blue sky before you do I shall donate gladly.

24 October 2009 at 10:44  
Anonymous Jon of Kent said...

I've never seen your blog before (or heard of it as far as I know) but it's great reading. I'm sorry to hear about your thing - I always think one of the things the Devil likes to do is to cut us off from other people in our suffering, maybe in mockery of the goodness of sharing silence in community, or something... Anyway, I'm telling you what you know, but you're not the first to feel like this: I've just been reading Psalm 44 and it's quite apposite (perhaps? You know better than I do of course). A psalm of two halves really, in a sense revolving around verse 8 I think.

So inspired by how well other people obviously think of your integrity, I've given you a little something although I fear it's not much - I work for a charity and live in the south-east so it's always a challenge making ends meet! And I'll pray for you... if you're happy to have the prayers of an unbaptised Salvation Army boy!

Good work, chin up.

28 October 2009 at 20:01  
Blogger apodeictic said...

"His Holiness"? Calling the Bishop of Rome "His Holiness" does not comport with what Your Grace has previously said on the holder of that office. Was it not Your Grace who said "And as for the Pope, I refuse him, as Christ's enemy, and antichrist, with all his false doctrine"?

30 October 2009 at 13:48  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Newer›  ‹Older