Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Lord Mandelson to be appointed Defender of the Faith

There is something of a decomposing inevitability in the news that the Right Honourable the Baron Mandelson of Foy in the County of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the County of Durham, First Secretary of State and Lord President of the Privy Council and Secretary of State for Business and Secretary of State for Innovation and Skills is to become Minister of Spin Propaganda Truth Information. It is perhaps the New Labour crowning glory that they have created a whole new government department dedicated to his dark art, or, rather, that he has reached such a position of omnipotence within government that a whole new department has been created especially for him.

His task will be to explain the inexplicable, market the unmarketable, defend the indefensible, excuse the inexcusable and sell the unsellable – Gordon Brown and Labour. He will need to be at once an egregious estate agent, a sophist second-hand car salesman and a pimping politician.

It is a curious appointment, for if, as is rumoured, the First Minister is to make weekly televised briefings, it will considerably increase his stature and profile; indeed, he will appear positively presidential, even prime ministerial...


Anonymous philip walling said...

Lord, they must be desperate.

The Great Architect called in to shore up his decaying edifice.

11 November 2009 at 23:12  
Anonymous len said...

Here is how Winston Smith described doublethink in the novel:1984

"To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, to repudiate morality while laying claim to it, to believe that democracy was impossible and that the Party was the guardian of democracy, to forget whatever it was necessary to forget, then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when it was needed, and then promptly to forget it again: and above all, to apply the same process to the process itself. That was the ultimate subtlety: consciously to induce unconsciousness, and then, once again, to become unconscious of the act of hypnosis you had just performed. Even to understand the word 'doublethink' involved the use of doublethink.'

11 November 2009 at 23:18  
Blogger Ian said...

"His task will be to... market the unmarketable, defend the indefensible, excuse the inexcusable and sell the unsellable..."

So, no change there then.

11 November 2009 at 23:30  
Blogger Shades Of Ansel said...

It's becomming like some sci-fi horror movie.Everything is unbelievable but somehow you know its going to happen.Manboy is like Freddie Kruger come to life.He enters our dreams,our hope for the future,even the hopes,dreams and lives of our children,and totally WIPES THEM OUT.I hope he gets AIDS and dies a very,very,very slow and PAINFUL death.The people of this country have been fucked over for far too long by arse-pumpers like this slime

11 November 2009 at 23:41  
Blogger The Lakelander said...

Peter Mandleson can derive much pleasure from the titles that he can surround himself with and the powers that a failing Prime Minister has bestowed upon him.

But the fact is that in less than six months Mandy will be history..toast..yesterday's man (you get the picture.)

His links to the luvvie-left will be worth nothing, and so well remunerated non-execs will be thin on the ground.

He has never been liked. He has only ever been tolerated. Come 2010, he will learn just how shallow that toleration has been.

Sorry Peter, but you are about to find out just how cold it is on the outside of the Westminster Village. You will only be a shameful memory of how politics used to "be done."

11 November 2009 at 23:54  
Blogger Bob said...

How about a whip round for a hitman?

12 November 2009 at 02:06  
Anonymous Voyager said...

I think Mandy needs a State carriage drawn by white horses and his armorial coat on the carriage door. He is the Duke Of Buckingham and will bring gaiety and foppery to our Neo-Stalinist public life.

I look forward to pictures of his noble retainer Brownie opning the carriage door with a bow and his powdered wig and frock coat showing Labour 'is for the many not the few'

Herbert Morrison would be proud of his grandson getting such a role and being in such a long running series on prime time TV. It is a wonder to behold and brings much mirth into these dark days as the nation awaits the bailifss of the IMF and Chinese Central Bank

12 November 2009 at 07:05  
Anonymous Mrs Proudie of Barchester said...

So at last, we are to have a Ministry of Truth and doubtless it with be double-plus right-think for all of us...

This is an obscenity

12 November 2009 at 08:52  
Anonymous Hereward said...

He is a moden-day Piers Gaveston. Roll on the next catastrophic turn of the Wheel of Fortune.

12 November 2009 at 09:19  
Blogger Lord Lavendon said...

We seem to be developing all the appartus of a South American Junta.

We have the unelected leader,the ministry of justice,a small sycophantic clique surrounding the leader, the prinitng of money to fund the defecit, detention without trial, abrogation of freedom of speech and the government wants to store all of our personal information on a database, even if no crime has been undertaken. Now we have the ministry of information.....

All this from the country which gave the world the likes of the Magna Carta. Time to hold our heads in shame given what this labour government has done to our civil society...

12 November 2009 at 09:31  
Anonymous Blair for president said...

What have people of the right got against Lord M? I think he would be great as PM!

There are doubtless Tory spin doctors who are mini me Mandelson's, so it is not as if the tories are 'whiter than white' when it comes to spin- look what they spun the 'cast iron' u turn of cameron last week.

12 November 2009 at 09:35  
Anonymous Voyager said...

I do recall Michael Heseltine becoming The Grand Panjandrum at the end of the Major Years with huge office and grand ca change

12 November 2009 at 10:37  
Anonymous Pro EU and Socialist said...

Why does the right think that Labour is taking away civil liberties ? Labour in my view is actually extending the civil liberties of every group which has previously been shunned by the tories:

We would not have devolved government to Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland if the tories had been in power.

We would not have had gay rights and civil partnerships and a glorious equality bill which seeks to erradicate discrimination on grounds of gender, sexuality, religion, race or impariments .

We would not have had a social access regulator, who makes sure that the private schools and universities are not just for the rich toffs like Cameron, but are also there for the poor working classes .

We would not have had ever closer ties with Europe under a Tory government. The EU has prevented another european civil war, it has preserved peace in our time for over 50 years. What is wrong with the EU?

The database referred to above is to stop terrorist attacks, only the criminals have anything to fear, not the law abiding citizen.

What's wrong with all of this ? Hardly the actions of a south american junta !

Clearly those who are opposed to these reforms are bigoted, right wing, racists, homophobes.

12 November 2009 at 10:40  
Anonymous cockney rebel said...

Frighteningly true.
Pro EU & Socialist.
Nice one, You should be in showbiz!

12 November 2009 at 11:23  
Blogger ultramontane grumpy old catholic said...

Pro EU and Socialist

What have you been drinking? Whatever it is, it's too early in the day.

12 November 2009 at 11:32  
Anonymous Pro EU Socialist said...

I wanted to list just some of the many achievements of labour over the past few years so people will see 1997 onwards as a period of progessive reform like those of Lloyd George and Attlee. The country rejected the old tory party of Thatcher and i don't think they will be fooled by cameron's so called progessive agenda.

12 November 2009 at 11:49  
Blogger ultramontane grumpy old catholic said...

You are very brave. Suffice to say I think we will let history be the judge of those claims.

I happen to think that this is the most incompetent and venal government that I have seen in my longish lifetime.

I would rejoice if Scotland and Wales went their own way because that would leave less cannon fodder Labour MPs in Westminster and reduce the chance of a future Labour government.

Much as I like the Scots and the Welsh, if that's the price to pay, I would pay it.

I shudder to think that Brown might get possibly get back because of skewed electoral geography; that's why I will not vote UKIP at the next election.

12 November 2009 at 12:10  
Anonymous anthologist said...

"Whence comest thou, Gehazi,
So reverend to behold,
In scarlet and in ermines
And chain of England's gold?"

"From following after Naaman
To tell him all is well,
Whereby my zeal hath made me
A Judge in Israel."

Well done; well done, Gehazi!
Stretch forth thy ready hand,
Thou barely 'scaped from judgment,
Take oath to judge the land
Unswayed by gift of money
Or privy bribe, more base,
Of knowledge which is profit
In any market-place.

Search out and probe, Gehazi,
As thou of all canst try,
The truthful, well-weighed answer
That tells the blacker lie --
The loud, uneasy virtue
The anger feigned at will,
To overbear a witness
And make the Court keep still.

Take order now, Gehazi,
That no man talk aside
In secret with his judges
The while his case is tried.
Lest he should show them -- reason
To keep a matter hid,
And subtly lead the questions
Away from what he did.

Thou mirror of uprightness,
What ails thee at thy vows?
What means the risen whiteness
Of the skin between thy brows?

The boils that shine and burrow,
The sores that slough and bleed --
The leprosy of Naaman
On thee and all thy seed?
Stand up, stand up, Gehazi,
Draw close thy robe and go,
Gehazi, Judge in Israel,
A leper white as snow!

Rudyard Kipling

Yes I know the Dark Lord isn't a judge, but I still think a lot of the above applies.

12 November 2009 at 13:16  
Anonymous Mrs Proudie of Barchester said...

Dear Pro EU and Socialist,

Let's do a quick check:

In a democratic society decisions should be made, well... democratically, don't you think? So who voted to accept the Lisbon Treaty (or indeed reject it)?
Who voted to break up the Union and a constitutional arrangment that has served us well for nigh-on three hundred years? Who voted to allow the government to store private data on their gigantic data bases and sell it/use it as they wish? Who voted to have unlimited immigration and to abandon control of our own borders? Who voted to become the most spied on nation in Europe?

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm can't think.

12 November 2009 at 16:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to ask Pro EU and Socialist a simple question.

Who do you work for, and who pays your wages?

I bet it is the taxpayer, and that you work for New labour's "rapid rebuttal unit".

12 November 2009 at 19:16  
Blogger Unsworth said...

Your Grace

These 'weekly briefings' will, of course, amount to no more than party political broadcasts for the Labour Party. Will the BBC (or whoever) be required to offer equal airtime to the Conservatives, the Lib Dems, UKIP, etc?

12 November 2009 at 20:10  
Blogger C. Stephanie said...

No wonder that from time to time you get the blues. You tangle with giants. I approve heartily. We in the US have our work cut out for us as well, as our press attempts to eradicate the ability of the public to perceive or resist the stealth jihad against the US, free speech, free enterprise, and free exercise of Christianity. We resist the placing of Islam in a privileged position above the law. Your fights are our fights. I pray that you are joined by worthy allies and soon. May Jesus help both of our nations and strengthen us in His goodness and courage for the fights ahead.

12 November 2009 at 20:49  
Anonymous Definitely not pro-EU or socialist said...

Seems to me that Mandelson et al are treating "1984" as a guideline, not a work of fiction. I wonder what George Orwell would think now?

12 November 2009 at 23:46  
Anonymous Pro EU and Socialist said...

Anon @ 19.16 . I work for Loki, Norse God of Mischief. I do not get paid, in the sense you would understand it. I do not work for the labour party. I work for the Gods of Chaos and mischief. Sorry old cock for bursting your bubble.

13 November 2009 at 00:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the guy whose posted at 00.51. You sad bastard labour troll. I guess that the liebour party is the party of chaos and mischief !

13 November 2009 at 00:56  
Anonymous Hank Petram said...

Your Grace,

You're not suggesting, are you, that P. Mandelson has his eye on replacing the poor old half-blind letter writer as the tenant at No. 10? No, surely not, I didn't think so. Private Eye doesn't think so either. (See bottom right-hand picture on the new cover, out today)

13 November 2009 at 12:45  
Anonymous Hank Petram said...

Sorry, here's the missing link:

13 November 2009 at 12:47  

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