Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Pope venerates Homer Simpson

‘Santo subito!’

Following the announcements that Pope John Paul II and Pope Pius XII have moved a step closer to sainthood, the Vatican has approved an ‘heroic virtues decree’ for Homer Simpson, published as 'Aristotle's Virtues and Homer's Doughnut' in L'Osservatore Romano.

Te Deum laudamus!

To be declared venerable, a church investigation has to conclude that the person in question lived a life of exemplary holiness and heroic virtue.

Just has there have been objections from Jewish groups about Pius XII, so Evangelicals have objected to the 'excessively crude language, the violence of certain episodes or some extreme choices by the scriptwriters'. They have demanded that the Vatican open up its archives in order that there may be a full investigation into Mr Simpson’s suitability for veneration. He has, after all, only been on our screens for 20 years. It seems a little premature to find virtue in 'Simpsonian theology', but it appears to be infinitely preferable to His Holiness than the ‘Liberation’ sort: Homer Simpson's religious confusion mirrors that of modern man, the Vatican has said.

The decree specifically mentions a number of religion-themed episodes, including one in which Homer calls for divine intervention by crying: “I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!”

Homer's religious confusion are 'a mirror of the indifference and the need that modern man feels toward faith'. The paper says: “Homer finds in God his last refuge, even though he sometimes gets His name sensationally wrong.”

But L'Osservatore Romano is persuaded that ‘these are just minor mistakes (because) the two know each other well.”

So, according to the Vatican’s newspaper, it does not matter what you call God – Jehovah, Allah, Krishna, Waheguru, Yoda or The Force – the name is a minor matter in the great scheme of things.

The venerable Homer Simpson now awaits miracles to be attributed to him.

It is hoped that his beatification might coincide with that of President Obama in 2011. Homer Simpson's canonisation is expected the following year, after normal church rules which prevent the process applying to cartoon characters were dispensed with.


Blogger Gnostic said...

What has the Pope got against Danger Mouse? He's courageous and a defender of the truth...

23 December 2009 at 08:28  
Blogger The Anti Christ said...

'Homer's religious confusion are 'a mirror of the indifference and the need that modern man feels toward faith'.

My favourite Homer Prayer:

Homer: "Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

More Simpsons Quotes HERE

23 December 2009 at 09:17  
Blogger ENGLISHMAN said...

Are these people insane?

23 December 2009 at 09:32  
Anonymous bluedog said...

Your Grace

Has it really come to this? Your communicant has recently finished reading a report about secularism in Sandro Magister's excellent Chiesa website. The article is based on conversations between the Pope and the Archbishop of the Russian Orthodox Patriarchate of Moscow. It is hard to believe that Ratzinger can throw the switch to vaudeville so soon after his rather more serious deliberations with the Orthodox church.

Incidentally, the point is well made by the Russians that 70 years of Communism was perversely good for their church. After how many years of Nulabour repression will the Anglicans start to fire up? Our own bearded holy man, Rowan Cantuar does seem somewhat energised by the challenge of Anglicanorum coelibus.

23 December 2009 at 09:56  
Blogger The Anti Christ said...

Your Grace,

I know how difficult it must be to have The Anti Christ present amongst your eteemed writings, and seeing how we are on an American theme today, as a special gesture I have been in communication with Mr President Obama, and he has put together this little festive message.

Happy Holidays

23 December 2009 at 10:07  
Anonymous Knighthawk said...

Homer Simpson's religious confusion mirrors that of modern man, and the Vatican's religious confusion mirrors that of the Galatians.

23 December 2009 at 10:11  
Blogger Preacher said...

Your Grace.
Will we be seeing Homers teethmarks in a doughnut, or perhaps a tuft of his hair doing the rounds of our churches soon? obviously poor old Ned Flanders has been left out because of his protestant evangelical beliefs, is this a prosecutable offence of religous hatred? Better send for Batman.

23 December 2009 at 10:45  
Blogger ultramontane grumpy old catholic said...

If Our Lord was not averse to using the day to day life of mankind in His parables, why should the Vatican be excoriated for doing something similar?

Sure, to us Homer is a slob, but his Creator and Redeemer sees something different in him.

Or is the point that there shouldn't be laughter in Church. Is this just Protestant outlook?

Remember the controversy in 'The Name of the Rose' on whether Christ laughed?

23 December 2009 at 10:46  
Blogger Gnostic said...


Sure, to us Homer is a slob, but his Creator and Redeemer sees something different in him.

His creator is Matt Groening and the ultimate redeemer is Fox, owned by Rupert Murdoch last I heard.

Is there something you're trying to tell me here? :D

23 December 2009 at 10:53  
Blogger Because we're young said...

LOVE that Homer quote Antichrist, had me chuckling at my desk. Like the article by L'Osservatore, it is Christmas which is a time for fun and it is the first thing I've ever read from that publication, so a bit of publicity can't be a bad thing.

"Save me Jebus".

23 December 2009 at 11:00  
Anonymous the recusant said...

I get it, because a religious newspaper in Rome prints an article saying in effect that the cartoon character Homer exhibits some laudable values , the Pope (always with the Pope eh) is somehow guilty of venerating him. It’s up there with Pope Joan and Mariah Monk, Len for goodness sake don’t believe it, it’s another hoax, really the Pope doesn’t venerate Homer, never has and never will.

Still I can see how this story outweighs Vicars telling their congregation to go out and steal from shops or a Bishop to the Forces telling the troops that al-Quaeda are really quite decent chaps and ever so sincere in their faith. It is obviously far more important than the violence and intimidation that is forcing one Vicar and his family out of their home because his NIMBY parishioners don’t like the idea of having social housing in their bit of Jerusalem builded here. Even his Bishop can’t be bothered to go and read the riot act the these thugs.

Yep let’s stick with Homer, Cranmer taking your lead from the Daily Mail now?

23 December 2009 at 11:54  
Blogger The Anti Christ said...


His Grace was strapped to a stake and set on fire for His views, and he burned to the utmost death and still would not recant. This we understand to be set in universal concrete. So chill baby and Merry Christmas.

23 December 2009 at 12:29  
Anonymous the lost packet said...

It seems you are prepared to use any stigma, even an imaginary one, to beat a dogma, even an imaginary one, Mr Cranmer.

God and Mary be with you, nonetheless.

23 December 2009 at 12:32  
Blogger Frugal Dougal said...

Gillian Anderson!

23 December 2009 at 12:43  
Blogger ultramontane grumpy old catholic said...

Ms Gnostic

Nice one!

Happy Christmas! o<|;-)}}}

23 December 2009 at 12:51  
Blogger Kenpachi said...

Save me Jeebus!

23 December 2009 at 14:25  
Anonymous sydneysider said...

I think Superman should be venerated as a Catholic saint because he fought against evil and never had sex with Lois Lane.

23 December 2009 at 14:29  
Blogger ukipwebmaster said...

Heads up to all Bloggers!

Make this your Christmas number one:

23 December 2009 at 16:34  
Anonymous not a machine said...

Says a great deal about the "reverend lovejoy" if he was the characture who recomended him .

23 December 2009 at 16:43  
Anonymous Bag Lady said...

Your Grace, could Tony Blair also be made a saint?

23 December 2009 at 16:56  
Blogger ultramontane grumpy old catholic said...

Bag Lady
But surely you have to die before you can be made a saint?

Ah.... I see what you mean

If that's the case, I have a little list - sorry a rather lengthy list.

Sydneysider - Superman a saint? Nah, not a Catholic, probably Amish with all that long underwear

23 December 2009 at 18:04  
Anonymous Hank Petram said...

The Osservatore Romano often carries articles on literature and the arts. In the Dec. 24 issue, for instance, thre's one on Blake's mysticism. So it shouldn't really surprise anybody that the editors thought the twenty-year run (so far) of The Simpsons worthy of comment. The Daily Mail, IMHO, made more of the story than it was really worth, and Your Grace seems have been taken in by the hoo-ha.

23 December 2009 at 18:33  
Anonymous Hank Petram said...

It looks as though I may be spending the next few days in a computer-free environment, so I will wish Your Grace a Happy Christmas and a swift end, if that is possible, to the troubles that your thermometer (over there on the right) indicates are still besetting you.

A Happy Christmas, too, to all Your Grace’s communicants, including Mr Singh, Mr Preacher, Mr Sydneysider, and my co-religionists Ultramontane Grumpy Old Catholic and The Recusant. And, indeed, everybody else, without exception. Benedictus benedicat. God bless us all!

23 December 2009 at 19:16  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think this blog is missing D.Singh already- I can't wait till he gets back!

23 December 2009 at 19:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it just me or does this sound like a HOAX ???

23 December 2009 at 20:12  
Blogger ultramontane grumpy old catholic said...

And a Happy Christmas to you Hank Petram.

Enjoy your time without the computator machinans

Difficult I know...

23 December 2009 at 22:47  
Anonymous William said...

I agree that Homer Simpson turns to 'someone' when things get tough but as for someone who epitomises religion in a popular media culture? No, I'd have to disagree.

Battelstar Galactica (the new series) did religious soul searching and meaning of life than anything recently.

If you're into gaming systems then warhammer and warhammer 40000 have imbedded religions and anti religions in them from the start.

Both of these do more for religion than St Homer

23 December 2009 at 23:34  
Anonymous sydneysider said...

Keep warm and go easy on the egg nog this Christmas Grumps!
A special greeting for len who resolutely takes on the formidable Recusant and his Musketeers
keeping the sparks flying.

Back in the new year with more illuminating insights into the religious significance of cartoon characters and the Catholic Church
A Happy Christmas to you all!

23 December 2009 at 23:42  
Anonymous non mouse said...

A Happy and Blessed Christmas to Your Grace and all your Communicants!!

23 December 2009 at 23:54  
Blogger Gnostic said...

What non mouse said - squared.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Now I've got to shovel all that snow off my drive and excavate the car and go get the perishable comestibles cos the shops will be closed at lunchtime (village life, what can you do?).

Rassem frassem...

24 December 2009 at 09:11  
Anonymous len said...

Happy Christmas to all communicants including Mr Recusant.....Doh!! seriously, I diddly, diddly do!

24 December 2009 at 10:31  
Anonymous Fairfax said...

That glorious Form, that Light unsufferable,
And that far-beaming blaze of Majesty,
Wherwith he wont at Heav'ns high Councel-Table,
To sit the midst of Trinal Unity,
He laid aside; and here with us to be,
Forsook the Courts of everlasting Day,
And chose with us a darksom House of mortal Clay. [Milton: Nativity Ode]

Merry Christmas to Cranmer and to all.

25 December 2009 at 00:17  
Anonymous jeremy hyatt said...

All is now clear.

Several regular communicants are plainly candidates for Ned Flanders in disguise.

Happy Cjrismas anyway.

25 December 2009 at 13:17  
Anonymous jeremy hyatt said...

You mean you've never heard of the Great Feast of Cjrismas?

The Feast of St Typo of course


25 December 2009 at 13:18  

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