Pope venerates Homer Simpson
Following the announcements that Pope John Paul II and Pope Pius XII have moved a step closer to sainthood, the Vatican has approved an ‘heroic virtues decree’ for Homer Simpson, published as 'Aristotle's Virtues and Homer's Doughnut' in L'Osservatore Romano.
Te Deum laudamus!
To be declared venerable, a church investigation has to conclude that the person in question lived a life of exemplary holiness and heroic virtue.
Just has there have been objections from Jewish groups about Pius XII, so Evangelicals have objected to the 'excessively crude language, the violence of certain episodes or some extreme choices by the scriptwriters'. They have demanded that the Vatican open up its archives in order that there may be a full investigation into Mr Simpson’s suitability for veneration. He has, after all, only been on our screens for 20 years. It seems a little premature to find virtue in 'Simpsonian theology', but it appears to be infinitely preferable to His Holiness than the ‘Liberation’ sort: Homer Simpson's religious confusion mirrors that of modern man, the Vatican has said.
The decree specifically mentions a number of religion-themed episodes, including one in which Homer calls for divine intervention by crying: “I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!”
Homer's religious confusion are 'a mirror of the indifference and the need that modern man feels toward faith'. The paper says: “Homer finds in God his last refuge, even though he sometimes gets His name sensationally wrong.”
But L'Osservatore Romano is persuaded that ‘these are just minor mistakes (because) the two know each other well.”
So, according to the Vatican’s newspaper, it does not matter what you call God – Jehovah, Allah, Krishna, Waheguru, Yoda or The Force – the name is a minor matter in the great scheme of things.
The venerable Homer Simpson now awaits miracles to be attributed to him.
It is hoped that his beatification might coincide with that of President Obama in 2011. Homer Simpson's canonisation is expected the following year, after normal church rules which prevent the process applying to cartoon characters were dispensed with.