Where is Lord Adonis?
The country has a bit of snow and the trains stop, the roads are gridlocked, airports are at a standstill, Eurostar is paralysed and thousands of people are left stranded all night, huddled in their cars, unable to get home.
Some have even frozen to death.
How does Norway cope? Or Sweden? Or Finland?
Do their schools close every time it snows?
Does their transport infrastructure seize up?
Do they limp from crisis to crisis as chief executives and quango directors are hauled before a baying media to explain themselves?
Whose job is it to keep the arterial roads open?
Whose responsibility is it to ensure that snow-ploughs and gritters are dispatched?
Some councils undoubtedly have their act together, but others are performing abysmally.
Why is no-one collaring the Secretary of State for Transport?
Indeed, where is he?
Or would he just blame his 2008 predecessor Geoff Hoon? And would he just blame his 2007 predecessor Ruth Kelly? And would she blame her 2006 predecessor Douglas Alexander? And would he blame Alastair Darling? And would he blame Stephen Byers? And would he blame John Prescott?
Doubtless he would just blame the decades of Tory underfunding.
The turnover in this department of state is indicative of a much deeper problem.
There is no long-term transport strategy because the department can only think in terms of 12 months at a time: the average duration of a transport secretary.
So it is not Lord Adonis’ fault.
Or Geoff Hoon’s, or Ruth Kelly’s, or Dougie Alexander’s, or Alastair Darling’s...
It is the BBC’s for not making this an issue, for not scrutinising accountability, for not criticising Labour, for not pursuing Lord Adonis to the four corners of the earth to explain himself.
And before communicants point out to His Grace that the inclement weather cannot be blamed on this Labour government, he would like to make it clear that he is fully aware of this.
As the Prime Minister has said, it is China’s fault.
UPDATE Tue 22 Dec 9.00am:
The Sun has managed to track down His Lordship - he is holidaying in The Alps. Obviously, he wanted more snow. A Department for Transport spokesman said: "Andrew Adonis is monitoring the impact of bad weather on transport extremely closely while on a short family break over Christmas."
That's okay then. It's reassuring to know that we are being monitored.