Sunday, February 07, 2010

Cranmer’s Conservative Creed

I believe in one Party,
Preserver of all that is good in our Constitution,
And of Individual Freedom, Limited Government, National Defence and the Rule of Law:
And in one Party Leader, the only-begotten of the entire Membership,
Chosen democratically by the whole Party,
Centre-Forward, Darling of Conference,
Pre-eminent Parliamentarian of Parliament,
Elected, not appointed,
Being of one philosophy with the Party,
By whom Conservatism is articulated and maintained;
Who for us Members, and for our earthly salvation came down from CCHQ,
And was invited by Her Majesty to form a Government,
And was made Prime Minister,
And was vilified also for us under the BBC.
He was airbrushed and scorned,
And day after day he shrugs it off because that’s his job,
And steps up to the Dispatch Box,
And sitteth on the right hand of the Speaker.
And he shall come again with a larger majority to annihilate the Socialists and the Liberals:
And his Government shall have no end.
And I believe in the Voluntary Party,
The giver of life to the Parliamentary Party,
Which precedeth the Party and the Leader,
Which with the Party and the Leader together should be acknowledged and appreciated,
Because they do all the donkey work.
And I believe in one Conservatism, though it be severally termed 'One-Nation', 'Compassionate' and 'Progressive'.
I acknowledge one Membership for the right to select candidates.
And I look for victory at the General Election,
And for the realisation of the policies to come.


Blogger John.D said...

No mention of God Jesus or the church.....sounds about right. Are you really sure this is what you want?

7 February 2010 at 13:45  
Anonymous oiznop said...

Excellent, Your Grace. Bit if time on your hands?

John D - we can't offend the atheists!

7 February 2010 at 13:57  
Anonymous oiznop said...

Or even bit OF time?

7 February 2010 at 13:57  
Blogger D. Singh said...

Your Grace

'And he shall come again with a larger majority to annihilate the Socialists...'

Och! You too believe that it will be a hung parlaiment?

No not him. There is another man's name written on the door of 10 Downing Street.

7 February 2010 at 14:05  
Blogger john in cheshire said...

I'm looking for some Old Testament retribution. I want to see all socialists and their muslim running dogs stamped into the mud and kept there for all eternity. I want to see a total purge of the bodies politic, corporate and spiritual.

7 February 2010 at 14:08  
Anonymous not a machine said...

An we shall not impersonate Tony Blair , for after 13 yrs he has been found wanting due to his use of sorcery .

7 February 2010 at 14:41  
Blogger John.D said...

In the absense of any credible man everyone will turn inwards - and so we will have a diluted government. Until someone of any substance comes along then Cranmer will have to dream on.

Word verification = kings

7 February 2010 at 15:06  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant, simply brillaint

7 February 2010 at 18:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

apparently Brown will be using Blair in his election campaign to win back support. be interesting to see how that works out for him.

7 February 2010 at 19:11  
Anonymous professor langdon said...

i love labour!!!!!

7 February 2010 at 19:18  
Anonymous martin sewell said...

Will YOur Grace be inviting us all to a Tea Party anytime soon?

7 February 2010 at 20:14  
Anonymous IanCad said...

Something going on here Your Grace?
Maybe in 2013? No more Cameron Babes!! The right to select candidates! Revolutionary stuff indeed! Such stuff as dreams are made on.

7 February 2010 at 22:22  
Anonymous John Knox said...

Dear Cranmer,

While Britsh Commonlaw has been dismantled,

The constitution robbed of its Christian moral foundation,

The Queen has become a ceremonial head of State resorting to knighting washouts and perverts to preserve her standing in society,

The EU has conquered Britain by way of treaties and banking houses and our political masters reside in Brussels, the other city built on seven hills,

What was morally wrong fifty years ago is promoted, what was morally right is now persecuted and scandalized,

Is there anything left
about to say:

je maintaindrais?

John Knox.

7 February 2010 at 23:29  
Anonymous len said...

Just about sums us up.
From a Christian Nation sending missionaries all over the world to our present vassal state, has God abandoned us?
No we abandoned Him.

8 February 2010 at 00:39  
Anonymous Grumpy Optimist said...

Amen to that. But occasionally Oh Lord I loose my faith and fear that we shall all be hung out in Parliament with the Godless still in the ascendant. How can I truly keep my faith?

8 February 2010 at 00:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I Len, we have indeed abandoned God. So we deserved what we got. Endless confusion and self resentment.

8 February 2010 at 05:00  
Blogger Gnostic said...

And what you got in response to your impassioned plea for a decent leader is Cameron. In no way is that idiot the answer to any true conservative's prayers, Your Grace.

8 February 2010 at 07:46  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


8 February 2010 at 08:10  
Blogger English Viking said...

A parody of the Apostle's Creed on a purportedly Christian website. Brilliant.Is it any wonder things are in a mess?

If anybody is daft enough to think that the dreadfully vacuous Cameron is going to change things for the better, don't come running to me when he finally pushes the mouldering corpse of the UK into the shallow grave dug for it by successive bunches of traitors. And their cheerleaders.

8 February 2010 at 09:55  
Blogger Archbishop Cranmer said...

Mr English Viking,

It is not the Apostles' Creed, but the Nicene Creed.

And it is not sacred scripture, but the declaration of man.

8 February 2010 at 09:59  
Blogger English Viking said...

Your Grace,

I stand corrected on which particular Creed you have mocked, apologies.

I never said it was sacred scripture, but it is sacred.

8 February 2010 at 11:19  
Blogger Lord Lavendon said...

Your Grace, very amusing. I cannot see anything wrong with this, it is afterall the spirit with which is meant afterall that counts. I have done a paraody of a well known hymn on my blog for all the labour cronies out there....

8 February 2010 at 12:03  

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