Announcing the Society of Cardinal Cranmer
Inspired by the Blessed Vermin and founder of the Society of St Magnus for Orthodox Church Mice;
Mindful that His Holiness has appointed a further 24 eminences to his consistory, to ensure that his reforms outlast his earthly existence and that the Benedictine legacy will endure;
Recalling that sundry and diverse Anglican acronyms have sprung up over recent years, severally known as FiF, TAC, FCA, GAFCON and SSWSH, with no apparent purpose other than to further their own agendas;
Convinced that such branding and re-branding while, on the face of it, appears cordial and conducive to godly fellowship, is actually borne of bitter dispute and deep division;
Reaffirming the via media Catholic and Reformed foundation of the Church of England;
Deploring the unholy language used by those Princes of the Church who might be inclined to believe that if it be Catholic it may not be reformed and vice versa, especially of those who are buggering off to join His Holiness's Ordinariate;
Deeply disturbed by the despairing effects this dog's dinner is having on the flock (and vermin);
Despairing that the Archbishop of Canterbury is telling us that the Anglican Communion is doing just fine, thank you very much;
Convinced of the importance of preaching the Good News to save people from sin and hell;
Noting the efforts and important achievements of His Grace's august blog of educated and erudite comment upon matters religio-political;
Appealing to all individuals in all factions of the Church of England everywhere;
Taking into account that red clearly suits His Grace and that his personage is claimed by both Catholics and Protestant alike, and that he is considered simultaneously to be 'an heretick' and a Saint;
His Grace is proud to announce the formation and establishment of the Society of Cardinal Cranmer, which shall be conducive to all manner of mutually exclusive argumentations; combine disparate postmodern propositions; tolerate inescapable disjunctions and eclecticism; explore the meaninglessness of meaning and the framelessness of the framework; and which will embrace all theological spontaneity, ecclesial fragmentation and spiritual superficiality.
That's it: there is no need for any further Anglican groups, societies, organisations or fellowships. Anyone is welcome to join the Society of Cardinal Cranmer: there is room for all.
Given time, His Grace might even re-brand it 'The Church of England'.