Saturday, January 07, 2012

DUEMA – Don’t Unseat Ed Miliband Association


His Grace has been honoured and pleased to accept the appointment as Hon. Chaplain to this august endeavour, as determined by a Twitter Conclave consisting of Guido Fawkes, Harry Cole and Iain Martin, all of whom were eligible to vote and did so in accordance with the will of the Holy Spirit.

DUEMA is a non-partisan association of those who deeply value the enormous contribution of the Rt. Hon. Edward Miliband to British politics and his manifest abilities as HM Leader of the Opposition. He is a supreme example of political conviction, cunning strategy, decisive leadership, oratorical eloquence, and blinding charisma: Labour needs more like him.

And to those who find His Grace’s acceptance of this position to be in any sense contrary to Scripture, tradition, reason, or the XXXIX Articles, he is unapologetic. His Grace does not for one second believe that the Lord who created the universe would want Ed Miliband to become leader of any fraction of it, least of all this blessed plot, this realm, this United Kingdom. His Grace therefore graciously accepts this honour, and pledges to intercede before breakfast, before lunch, before tea and before dinner. And he’ll get up next morning to start again. He will do all he can to forge an ecumenical, multi-faith alliance to ensure that Ed Miliband remains in situ.

Accordingly, by the power and authority vested in him by Almighty God and Blogger, His Grace gives you a new commandment: ‘Love Edward Miliband as he loves himself, for in his atheism is eternal oblivion, and in his premiership would be precisely the same.’

35 Comments:

Blogger KCB said...

Your Grace,

We can but hope and pray that your efforts will be successful.

Regards,

Chris Rogers

7 January 2012 at 10:40  
Blogger Windsor Tripehound said...

He is a supreme example of political conviction, cunning strategy, decisive leadership, oratorical eloquence, and blinding charisma: Labour needs more like him.

Or alternatively, in the immortal words of John Cannon, "he's a knob!"

7 January 2012 at 11:20  
Blogger bluedog said...

XXIX Articles, Your Grace? Which X have you excised?

7 January 2012 at 11:35  
Blogger Archbishop Cranmer said...

Aargh, corrected.

7 January 2012 at 11:37  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Mr Cranmer

Why not initiate a 'Say the Rosary' campaign? Relying on your intercession alone may be insufficient.

7 January 2012 at 13:13  
Blogger Simon said...

Your Grace,

I suspect the natural successor to Ed Miliband, were he to be unseated, would be Ed Balls, a man whose leadership of the opposition would surely do British politics an even greater service. Indeed, I'm sure I recall Guido Fawkes et al. campaigning for Mr Balls to win the 2010 Labour leadership election on those very grounds. Maybe the defenestration of Mr Miliband would really be a sign of greater things to come?

7 January 2012 at 13:27  
Blogger Mr Integrity said...

Your Grace;
The next Hymn will be the Miliband Anthem.

Now I'm a union man
Amazed at what I am
I say what I think
That the company stinks
Yes I'm a union man.

When we meet in the local hall
I'll be voting with them all
With a hell of a shout
It's out brothers out
And the rise of the factory's fall.

Oh you don't get me I'm part of the union
You don't get me I'm part of the union
You don't get me I'm part of the union
Till the day I die, till the day I die.

As a union man I'm wise
To the lies of the company spies
And I don't get fooled
By the factory rules
'Cause I always read between the lines.

And I always get my way
If I strike for higher pay
When I show my card
To the Scotland Yard
This what I say.

Oh you don't get me I'm part of the union
You don't get me I'm part of the union
You don't get me I'm part of the union
Till the day I die, till the day I die.

Before the union did appear
My life was half as clear
Now I've got the power
To the working hour
And every other day of the year.

So though I'm a working man
I can ruin the government's plan
Though I'm not too hard
The sight of my card
Makes me some kind of superman.

Oh you don't get me I'm part of the union
You don't get me I'm part of the union
You don't get me I'm part of the union
Till the day I die, till the day I die.

Amen

7 January 2012 at 13:53  
Blogger Manfarang said...

Bring back Ed to the True faith.

7 January 2012 at 14:08  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Manfarang

In Ed Miliband's case, if he were to return to the faith of his forefathers, that would be Judaism. Certainly an improvement on atheism and a hugh step in the right direction.

7 January 2012 at 14:13  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Your Grace. The Labour party does have recent form in carefully placing the unelectable at the top. Michael Foot and Neil Kinnock come to mind. Long may this glorious tradition continue, what !

(I say Dodo, you rascal !)

7 January 2012 at 14:19  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Inspector

Rascal! Me? Never!

It just seems a tad inappropriate to associate the Holy Spirit with such a frivolous, schoolboyish campaign.

More fitting, I think, to consider a genuine prayer movement for Divine assistance in the upcoming and somewhat murky process of selecting a replacement for Archbishop Williams. Don't you think?

7 January 2012 at 14:38  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Dodo. On the subject of the next ++Canterbury, one would wish our monarch as supreme governor (...always think that title is a rank in the Met...) makes the appointment, having consulted with the bishops first, and totally by-passing PM.

7 January 2012 at 14:55  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Mr I

What about this little ditty for the brothers?

Two little boys had two little toys
Each had a wooden horse
Gaily they played each summers day
Warriors both of cause
One little chap then had a mishap
Broke off his horses head
Wept for his toy, then cried with joy
As his young brother said:

Did you think I would leave you crying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here, Ed and don't be crying
I can go just as fast with two
When we grow up we'll both be politicians
And our horses will not be toys
And I wonder if we'll remember when we were
Two little boys

Long years past, campaigns came so fast
Bravely they polled away
Unions roared loud and in the mad crowd
Wounded and dying lay, up goes a shout
A horse dashes out, out from the ranks so red
Gallops away to where David lay, then came a voice he knew

Did you think I would leave you dying
When there's room in my Party for two
Climb up here, David we'll soon be flying
I can go just as fast with two
What did you say David I'm all a tremble, perhaps it's the battles noise
But I thinks it’s that I remember when we were two little boys

7 January 2012 at 15:01  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Inspector

It's not really any business of mine but one must wonder if the Bishops could be trusted to advise Her Majesty. Too much division within their ranks and, one fears, too much 'protestation' after said appointment for unity.

7 January 2012 at 15:08  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Dodo. You missed the point old chap. Said ‘consult’ not ‘listen to’. Important that you know ! By the way, should be of interest to you, very important is Canterbury to any right minded Christian in this fair land (...when he’s not trying to foist Sharia law on us, that is...).

7 January 2012 at 15:17  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

...forgot to mention that any bishop who questions her appointment will be horsewhipped by her or the Princess Royal...

7 January 2012 at 15:20  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Inspector

But what happens should the theist Charles ascend the Throne - The Defender of Faiths?

7 January 2012 at 16:01  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Dodo. Am placing great faith in our beloved Queen will make it to her century, just like mummy did...

7 January 2012 at 16:37  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Inspector

God willing. If so, lets hope William has more sense than his father.

7 January 2012 at 16:47  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Dodo. Well, he had to sense to ‘try the cow out before buying it’. At least the Inspector thinks that’s what ++York said...

7 January 2012 at 16:51  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Inspector

We are living at a time where some people, as my daughter used to say, they want to test whether the milk is good before they buy the cow,” he said."

It was the Archbishop of York, John Tucker Mugabi Sentamu.

7 January 2012 at 17:19  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Dodo. Rather more polite when put that way....

7 January 2012 at 17:27  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Inspector

Is it? If anyone had referred to a child of mine in those terms - "off with his head"!

The best that can be said for it is that's it is preferable to the approach of Henry VIII!

7 January 2012 at 17:51  
Blogger IanCad said...

Very funny YG.


Dodo, Inspector.

In Kansas the saying is: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for nothing."

7 January 2012 at 18:00  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

IanCad

That's the logical next step. Very unsavoury it is too.

7 January 2012 at 18:40  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Mr Tingey. Some excellent news for you on an earlier thread. Dodo reckons you are going to heaven, atheist that you are. He says that you are quite clearly barking and cannot help yourself, and our compassionate God will have mercy on you. You have suffered enough in this life. Personally, the Inspector is going to pray tonight that you spend at least some time in purgatory as a thank you for all you posts on this site: Past, present and future. God bless you, you lucky bugger...

7 January 2012 at 20:11  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Inspector

Now you are being a rascal. What I actually said was:

"As you're very clearly unbalanced and 'troubled' - some early life trauma, perhaps? - you may well be granted entry to Paradise. You see, God is merciful. However, I would recommend professional help in this life as a precaution as this cannot be guaranteed."

Just to balance it out it's worth bearing in mind the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

"Immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into hell."

The Catechism also proclaims:

"There are no limits to the mercy of God ... although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offence, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God."

7 January 2012 at 21:28  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Oh dear Dodo, looks like the Inspector is ‘bearing false witness’. Can’t have that ! heh heh

7 January 2012 at 22:09  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Inspector

Never! Just wouldn't want and misunderstanding.

7 January 2012 at 22:47  
Blogger Manfarang said...

Dodo
The faith of his father was Marxism.

(BTW Mauritius is a lovely place and I am going to get some DNA from the stuffed dodo in the museum put it in a chicken egg and bring the dodo back to life)

8 January 2012 at 01:28  
Blogger non mouse said...

Your Grace: All Power to You!




But Manfarang this is horrifying: I am going to get some DNA from the stuffed dodo in the museum put it in a chicken egg and bring the dodo back to life... Why ever would you do such a terrible thing to a beautiful place? Indeed, even if you produce a 'Chodo,' it still would be a flightless bird...

So why interfere with what the "Moving Finger" has writ?

8 January 2012 at 09:12  
Blogger Manfarang said...

Non mouse
I don't eat chickens or eggs for that matter.
Anyway I was looking at Ralph Miliband's books. Interesting when the revisionism that has taken place in the Labour party is considered.

8 January 2012 at 10:35  
Blogger James Reade said...

I wonder whether, in your self-appointed role as an imposter to a long dead Archbishop, you pray for those such as Ed Miliband, instead of judging them, and setting up facetious organisations like this? Just wondering...

8 January 2012 at 10:40  
Blogger non mouse said...

Manfarang ... Oh, I see. Clever:)

8 January 2012 at 17:54  
Blogger Dodo the Katholikos Dude said...

Manfarang? said ...

"The faith of his father was Marxism."

Sure was and before that Judaism, through his grandparents who were Polish Jews.

8 January 2012 at 19:42  

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