DUEMA – Don’t Unseat Ed Miliband Association
His Grace has been honoured and pleased to accept the appointment as Hon. Chaplain to this august endeavour, as determined by a Twitter Conclave consisting of Guido Fawkes, Harry Cole and Iain Martin, all of whom were eligible to vote and did so in accordance with the will of the Holy Spirit.
DUEMA is a non-partisan association of those who deeply value the enormous contribution of the Rt. Hon. Edward Miliband to British politics and his manifest abilities as HM Leader of the Opposition. He is a supreme example of political conviction, cunning strategy, decisive leadership, oratorical eloquence, and blinding charisma: Labour needs more like him.
And to those who find His Grace’s acceptance of this position to be in any sense contrary to Scripture, tradition, reason, or the XXXIX Articles, he is unapologetic. His Grace does not for one second believe that the Lord who created the universe would want Ed Miliband to become leader of any fraction of it, least of all this blessed plot, this realm, this United Kingdom. His Grace therefore graciously accepts this honour, and pledges to intercede before breakfast, before lunch, before tea and before dinner. And he’ll get up next morning to start again. He will do all he can to forge an ecumenical, multi-faith alliance to ensure that Ed Miliband remains in situ.
Accordingly, by the power and authority vested in him by Almighty God and Blogger, His Grace gives you a new commandment: ‘Love Edward Miliband as he loves himself, for in his atheism is eternal oblivion, and in his premiership would be precisely the same.’