Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Film footage of Andrew Mitchell at the gates of Downing Street

With a proud heart he wore his humble weeds.. with the fusty plebeians.. Go, see him out at gates, and follow him..

His Grace has managed to obtain authentic film footage of the Chief Whip's altercation at the gates of Downing Street: the Patrician versus the Plebs.

Although Andrew Mitchell is widely considered a very dog to the commonalty, it must be remembered that he cannot help in his nature. He's a bear indeed, that lives like a lamb. Such a nature, tickled with good success, disdains the shadow which he treads on at noon: but I do wonder his insolence can brook to be commanded..

In addition to the filmed episode, he was overheard saying:
What's the matter, you dissentious rogues,
That, rubbing the poor itch of your opinion,
Make yourselves scabs?

Behold, these are the tribunes of the people,
The tongues o' the common mouth: I do despise them;
For they do prank them in authority,
Against all noble sufferance.

It is a purposed thing, and grows by plot,
To curb the will of the nobility:
Suffer't, and live with such as cannot rule
Nor ever will be ruled.

For the mutable, rank-scented many, let them
Regard me as I do not flatter, and
Therein behold themselves: I say again,
In soothing them, we nourish 'gainst our senate
The cockle of rebellion, insolence, sedition,
Which we ourselves have plough'd for, sow'd, and scatter'd,
By mingling them with us, the honour'd number,
Who lack not virtue, no, nor power, but that
Which they have given to beggars.
Of his apology to camera, he was heard to say:
Well, I must do't:
Away, my disposition, and possess me
Some harlot's spirit! my throat of war be turn'd,
Which quired with my drum, into a pipe
Small as an eunuch, or the virgin voice
That babies lulls asleep! the smiles of knaves
Tent in my cheeks, and schoolboys' tears take up
The glasses of my sight! a beggar's tongue
Make motion through my lips, and my arm'd knees,
Who bow'd but in my stirrup, bend like his
That hath received an alms! I will not do't,
Lest I surcease to honour mine own truth
And by my body's action teach my mind
A most inherent baseness.
Apparently, to avoid future bicycling strife, Mr Mitchell has now requested a ministerial Jag.


Blogger Holy Things said...

Your Grace

It is a fairly well-known observation that it is only when one is in pain or discomfort that one’s true character is revealed, as opposed to the public face that is presented on all other occasions. It would appear that Mr Mitchell’s true character has been revealed … and it is not nice.
That aside (and without excusing it), I wonder if Your Grace has any observations to make on the ‘toe-stubbing’ that caused Mr Mitchell’s mask to fall? Seriously, what harm was to be caused in opening a gate? Had this been done before? If so, why was the policy enacted now?
In recent months, we have been treated to the trial of a police officer causing the death via a beating of a non-protestor for not moving on swiftly enough (what happened to “move along please sir”); of Andy Coulson being detained at 6:30 a.m. (!), transported under police guard from London to Glasgow to be charged and then told to go home (whatever Your Grace might think of the man, could he not simply present himself without such heavy handedness?); and, recently, we have been treated to pictures of anti-abortion protestors in Brighton being led off IN HANDCUFFS (seriously, what’s with that?) for doing something entirely lawful. These are examples from the tip on an iceberg, I suspect.
I wonder, Your Grace, who or what is being treated like a pleb here?

26 September 2012 at 11:09  
Blogger The Way of Dodo the Dude said...

Surely this is Carl Jacobs raging against "crows pecking eagles"?

26 September 2012 at 12:06  
Blogger Bred in the bone said...

Why cycle, when you can sit in the same Jag as your breifcase

26 September 2012 at 17:05  
Blogger AnonymousInBelfast said...

I see Shakespeare has sent the usual crowd packing.

Plebs :p

26 September 2012 at 17:07  
Blogger non mouse said...

Thank you for this post, it's classic "Your Grace"! Your analogy with Coriolanus is topical and apposite.

As for the man who presently wields The Whip, why we expect him to appreciate democracy beats me. Unfortunately, he'll be safe and sound in that custom-made Jag: all armour-plated and bullet-proofed. And how much will we pay for it ... we captives of neu Corioli?

PS: His own persona is so ineffectual that one might laugh at the prospect of DC's berating anyone -- for letting the mask slip. However, this is real tragedy that we see before us.

26 September 2012 at 17:48  
Blogger non mouse said...

AiB -- well the young ones have been subverted, have they not? Myself, I wonder what we might do about it. After all, our man did write for the commons in the 'pit' as well. He was but a grammar school lad himself.

26 September 2012 at 18:04  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

What mischievous scallywaggery of yours dost thou throw before your following
The poisoned meat of such disposition to bring down an honourable man as such
To countenance the destruction of one who harms you not nor to your displeasure appeal
But for base profit that it be so Archbishop, you sully yourself with the herd.

26 September 2012 at 18:07  
Blogger Cressida de Nova said...

For the mutable rank-scented communicants
Regard me as I do not flatter
and whether it be dog puttock fitchew or cat
Take care with wit larded with malice
Lest the tartness of your face sours ripe grapes
With too much blood and too little brain (no prizes for guessing who these two communicants are)these two may run mad

26 September 2012 at 18:18  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

This is absolutely bloody outrageous ! (...Not you Cressida, you are just silly...)

Off duty serving police officers are actually picketing the mans constituency offices, no less !


These people are public servants, and if they are occasionally reminded of it, then so be it it !

Really incandescent over this you know !

26 September 2012 at 18:35  
Blogger Cressida de Nova said...

May you be nettled and stung with pismires!
I am not silly.

26 September 2012 at 18:48  
Blogger Lord Lavendon said...

Mitchell to me is the summary of this government's failure- extremely arrogant and out of touch, whilst masquerading as something conservative. Since when did conservatives attack the forces of law and order?

26 September 2012 at 19:14  
Blogger The Way of Dodo the Dude said...

The man is a plonker and should go.

And yet, if the Inspector is correct, since when the forces of 'law and order' attack a Minister of the Crown (not counting the Reformation)?

"With too much blood and too little brain (no prizes for guessing who these two communicants are)these two may run mad"

You should not refer to len and Avi in this way. It is unbecoming.

26 September 2012 at 19:47  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

It is right Dodo. It was on the midlands news. At least one police officer was wearing a tee shirt, the slogan something about being “PC Pleb and proud of it”

Can you imagine that. In the long history of the British Isles, the police of all people wishing to bring down an elected member of parliament !

If you value your democracy, defend it. Gentlemen, this is not a drill...

26 September 2012 at 19:58  
Blogger non mouse said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

26 September 2012 at 20:01  
Blogger non mouse said...

For the Brits here, this is interesting. It seems to suggest more activity behind the masquerade than we supposed even at first.

I've also been checking on the closing of Downing Street to public access. The Con-Artists' Keep, is it now? Armed police and all?

From what we see, we have a dispute between militarized police (an unBritish preference) and a powerful arm of "government" (which is no longer British). So we are treated to a face-off between a foreign law-maker and a foreign law-enforcer (or, alternatively, between two branches of law-enforcement). The "enforcing" business -- be it by Whip or by gun -- always got to me; though, for now, I'm content to see the power-mongers at each other, instead of at the People.

However, I agree with those who hint that something else is going on. Did the Chief Whip upset somebody in the "government" before their other instrument, the media, blew this in our faces? If so, what would the disagreement be about?

Or is this about Police Politics, or political policing?


26 September 2012 at 20:06  
Blogger The Way of Dodo the Dude said...

non mouse
It was a bad tempered outburst by a snotty nosed brat too used to getting his own way with Nanny, 'tis all. The Police were simply doing their job and attempting to keep Downing Street secure.

Some from the lower order just do not know how to behave! Being set a bad example by the patricians, I'd say.

I still maintain Mitchell brought it on himself and should go.

26 September 2012 at 21:16  
Blogger Mr Integrity said...

Your Grace,
Who polices the Police?
When the police tell the law makers what to do, we have a coup d'etat.

26 September 2012 at 21:20  
Blogger The Way of Dodo the Dude said...


Don't be so daft! You're sounding like 'baby' Mitchell now who threw a temper tantrum - a Grant or a Phil he aint.

The "law makers" are not above the law or relieved from following security arrangements. And good conduct should go without saying.

26 September 2012 at 21:38  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Dodo. Apparently the man could cycle through the main gate with no problem before. Why has this access been denied him ? On who’s authority was a minister of the crown directed to a side entrance. You are unable to hide your disdain for the man. Do tell the Inspector if this is down to his attitude and or his politics. If the former be the case, what hope for any of us who leaves a building with a sore head. It’s only a short step from there to the Lubyanka...

26 September 2012 at 22:00  
Blogger AnonymousInBelfast said...

"When the police tell the law makers what to do, we have a coup d'etat."

"The "law makers" are not above the law or relieved from following security arrangements."

Somewhere inbetween lies England.

26 September 2012 at 22:06  
Blogger Hannah Kavanagh said...

Hi Everyone, All of this talk of Chief Whips, has made me think of how our government might look like if Cranmer Blog communicants were in the coalition Cabinet :

Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for the Civil Service – His Grace, The Most Rev Archbishop of Canterbury, The Lord Cranmer

Deputy Prime Minister, Lord President of the Council, Secretary of State for Transport, Environment, Food, Rural Affairs, Energy and Climate Change : Rt Hon Lord Dr Avi Barzel of Toronto in the Dominion of Canada

First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs Secretary of State for International Development and The Colonies- Rt Hon Office of Inspector General MP

Chancellor of the Exchequer –Rt Hon Bluedog, MP

Chief Secretary to the Treasury – Rt Hon Mr Len MP

Secretary of State for the Home Department – Rt Hon Rebel Saint MP

Secretary of State for Defence – Rt Hon The Lord Jacobs of Iowa

Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills; and President of the Board of Trade , Secretary of State for Education, Work and Pensions – Rt Hon Mr Integrity MP

Lord Chancellor, Secretary of State for Justice - Rt Hon Baron Ernsty, Lord Tiddles in the County of Wessex

Secretary of State for Art, Communities and Local Government -Rt Hon Cressida De Nova MP

Secretary of State for Health – Rt Hon Dodo The Dude, MP

Leader of the House of Lords, Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster and Lord Privy Seal : Rt Hon Earl of Lavendon

Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport and Minister for Women and Equalities -Naomi King MP

Secretary of State Northern Ireland ,Rt Hon The Lord Belfast of the County of Anon

Secretary of State for Scotland- The Right Hon John Knox’s Lovechild MP

Secretary of State Wales-Christopher Gillibrand MP

Chief Whip - Rt Hon Danjo MP

26 September 2012 at 22:18  
Blogger AnonymousInBelfast said...

Hannah. That made my evening.

"We are such stuff
As dreams are made on"

26 September 2012 at 22:27  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Hannah, the Inspector remains your humble servant, ma’am...

26 September 2012 at 22:55  
Blogger The Way of Dodo the Dude said...


A "sore head" is no excuse for his behaviour. However, it was his *apology* that did it for me. Ans let's not contrive a *conspiracy* out of this shabby affair. There was no justification whatsoever for foul and abusive language to a police officer.

Talking of which:

French journalist: "Inspector, do you know if the killer was a man or woman?"
Inspector Clouseau:
"Well of course I know that! What else is there? A kitten?"

(My money is on the kitten!)

26 September 2012 at 22:59  
Blogger Hannah Kavanagh said...

Hi Inspector and Mr Belfast,

I'm glad that my post meant something to you, lot's of smiles and hugs!

You'll have to excuse me as I'm just munching on some food, following my Yom Kippur fast, repentance and confession, which has been quite an emotional journey, being a baalat teshuva.

26 September 2012 at 23:18  
Blogger The Way of Dodo the Dude said...


Have you been drinking with those nibbles?

26 September 2012 at 23:52  
Blogger Hannah Kavanagh said...

Hi Dodo,

No! I am feeling quite lucid actually.

Toodle pip as people say here!

27 September 2012 at 00:14  
Blogger G. Tingey said...

Utter rubbish!

Mitchell has just come up against that police behaviour which the rest of us have to suffer.
The arrogant "we're in charge" mentality, the petty jobsworths ...
See also:

27 September 2012 at 07:36  
Blogger Office of Inspector General said...

Mind how you go sir

And If I don’t

Let me remind you sir that talking back to a police officer is a very serious offence. It could cost you your job

I’ll go quietly, officer

27 September 2012 at 08:30  
Blogger E.xtra S.ensory Blofeld + Tiddles said...


"Lord Chancellor, Secretary of State for Justice - Rt Hon Baron Ernsty, Lord Tiddles in the County of Wessex"

Most honoured! Fear not, I've got a little list and they'd none of them be missed. they'd NONE OF THEM BE MISSED!!

Ernst the Grand Pooh Bah Blofeld

27 September 2012 at 08:31  
Blogger AnonymousInBelfast said...


I take it hanging will be too good for 'em?

Grief, I love this government!

27 September 2012 at 10:24  
Blogger E.xtra S.ensory Blofeld + Tiddles said...


"I take it hanging will be too good for 'em?"

Dear fellow, punishment should be like a fine meal with at least 3 courses to look forward to.

1. Compulsory viewing of all party conferences circa 1983 onwards, to ensure they get to hear all Kinnockio's finest speeches especially 'That Speech' *Chortles aloud*(starting to feel sorry for the poor blighters already) back to back including TUC and greens. A nice little starter, what?
2. Forced community service in Elizabeth Arden Pink blouses and scarf, Burberry pirate trousers and bandanna and Jimmy Choo's Eaton fringed brown suede tassled creepers thereby also making it a compulsory no no for the gay criminal community, the mere threat is sufficient for good behaviour. (Is that cottaging or toilet trawling really worth it, SWEETIE? Go ahead, Make our day). Obviously this outfit worn by these persistent offenders will be photographed and tagged on all social media websites and on 2 pt milk cartons in Iceland.
3. Nothing that a few lashes of the cat o nine tails on live tv could'nt resolve. Tiddles does love to see a jolly good strapping on the unrepentant. Miscreants beware!

Blofeld the merciless

27 September 2012 at 16:58  
Blogger non mouse said...

In continuation of my earlier post, I note that. on the other strand, 26.9@ 10:13 Tory Boy said...
Whilst in no way wishing to excuse the conduct of Mr. Mitchell, the one unasked question in this affair is why, after apparently being able to cycle through the main gates of Downing Street on previous occasions, did the police suddenly refuse to open them and insist on his going through the pedestrian gate?

This is another good question about this bit of busyness. And I do think it sensible to ask questions, given our state of subjection to the smoke and mirrors miracle-workers. We might not have descended so far into the world of underlings had we been less moronic and kept our heads in their proper places.

... and we need their heads out of the Keep of the Cons. We have "government" that isn't a government, protected by railings and militarised police. What used to be open to the public is now a "no go" zone, and all we go on about is what the law-enforcers call each other.

No wonder they all think we're stupid enough to beat into the shape du jour.

27 September 2012 at 17:14  
Blogger AnonymousInBelfast said...


I have underestimated how diabolical you can be in the pursuit of justice!

27 September 2012 at 18:26  
Blogger Avi Barzel said...

Deputy Prime Minister, Lord President of the Council, Secretary of State for Transport, Environment, Food, Rural Affairs, Energy and Climate Change : Rt Hon Lord Dr Avi Barzel of Toronto in the Dominion of Canada

Thank you Miss Kavanagh, Deputy Prime Minister's rank with all those delightful portfolios would be quite to my liking. As long as I'm also allowed to bobtail (without pulling a trailer) around dear old England with a customized candy-apple red, straight-hood, chrome-flashing Peterbilt, instead of one of those anemic looking Euro cab-over-engine tractors without decent sleepers your drivers suffer with. Very much like this one: I delivered one from Tallahassee to Chicago for a show once, fell in love with it, but wasn't allowed to marry it; society's not ready for true love yet. Don't let it be said I lack class.

28 September 2012 at 01:39  
Blogger E.xtra S.ensory Blofeld + Tiddles said...


If they think that is too harsh what on earth will they make of The Lake of Fire???

Best to do the right thing and repent whilst there is still time..Who can add one minute, day, week month, year to their life??
The time is always at hand to repent now.


28 September 2012 at 11:47  
Blogger Hannah Kavanagh said...

Hi Avi,

Wow! that's quite a big truck and must require a lot of skill in getting from a to b.

28 September 2012 at 15:31  
Blogger non mouse said...

Don't let it be said I lack class. Wouldn't dream of it myself, Avi!

I delivered one from Tallahassee to Chicago for a show once, fell in love with it, but wasn't allowed to marry it; society's not ready for true love yet.

Oh ... that's where you had time to learn the proper spelling of "Chicago"! I stuck fast at an old rhyme: "Chicken in de car, and de car can' go; and dat's de way you spell Chicago"!

28 September 2012 at 21:36  

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