The Walsingham Bubble Mass
His Grace is so convulsed with incredulity, he can scarcely type. He is so used to writing about those who inhabit the metaphorical Westminster Bubble that it had completely escaped him that the Church of England was blowing its own, quite literally. Can you imagine Jesus getting Judas and Peter to do these on the night he was betrayed? "This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is clouded in bubbles for you." Or St Paul:
For there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved may be made manifest among you.
When ye come together therefore into one place, this is not to blow bubbles at the Lord's supper.
For in blowing every one showeth himself to be a pillock: and one is dippy, and another is just preposterous.
What? have ye not houses to blow your own fairy liquid foam and froth? or despise ye the church of God, and shame them that have not? what shall I say to you? shall I praise you in this? I praise you not.
For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, that the Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed took bread:
And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.After the same manner also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, this cup is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me.
He didn't blow bloody globules of air.
For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord's death till he come.
And the Lord's death isn't a particularly effervescent soapy fest.
Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.
And unworthily includes jocularly, trivially and absurdly.
But let a man examine himself (yea, and a suffragan bishop, too), and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup, but cut the bloody spumes of lather.
For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily (yea, with fizzy globules), eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.
For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep.